Ibra

Last, but not least, on to Ibra...

Ibra is about 15 years old and is one of the boys in boarding school.  He is in primary 4 and is really held back in school because he is not a very strong reader yet.  It is kind of strange because his English is almost perfect.  I don't know where he learned English so well but he is a very clever kid.

Ibra is short for Ibrahim.  So as his name suggests, his family is muslim.  From what I was told, he was living with his mom, was a bit stubborn, decided to run away, and stayed gone for around a year.  During the year, he found Jesus, fell in love with Him, gave his life to Him, decided to go back home, and was rejected.  His mom was not happy that he was now a Christian and told him he wasn't welcome.  So he came back to the streets.  He joined a home for boys a little bit later but the boys in the home had to fend for themselves sometimes because the home was always underfunded.

Ibra would go to a certain church a lot.  He is very friendly and outspoken, so he made many friends there.  He started to be a good leader and show he was really responsible.  The leaders for another program for boys on the street recognized this and started to give him more responsibilities in the program.  He was proving himself to be trustworthy and on fire for Jesus.  A friend of mine realized this and how much potential he had.  After speaking with his mom, she offered to put him in a really good Christian boarding school where he could catch up on his studies and continue to grow in his faith.

When she left Uganda, I offered to continue to watch after Ibra.  He still attends boarding school and stays in the home during the holidays.  He is always kind and respectful.  He loves to talk but at times talks to much. (It has kind of gotten him in trouble at school.)  He loves to be helpful and will do whatever you ask of him.  He is trustworthy and loves to pray.

This last school holiday, he went back to his village and found his grandma.  He stayed with her and helped around her house with daily chores.  He also reconnected with a neighbor that he was really close to.  He calls her mom also.  We found out that his mom was actually in Kampala also.  The day they tried to visit, they didn't find her.  We will help him to try and rebuild that relationship also.

Ibra is a great kid and I know he is going to do great things in the future.

Meet Ibra!

Ibra

Ibra with Uncle Patrick

Davis

Davis is a really special kid.  I met him because he used to live at the house I stayed at when I was in Uganda the first time.  He unfortunately kept making bad choices and kept running away.  The last time he left, he was told if he left, he couldn't come back.

He left anyway.

That happened when I was gone.  When I got back to Uganda in January, I found him on the street.  It seems with these boys, once they start running they don't stop.  As a result, most organizations put a limit on the number of times a boy can come back because usually they will just run again.  The worst thing is, sometimes they will take other boys with them or steal things as they leave.  A limit kind of makes them think about their plans to run again, but really if a boy has it in his mind to run, he will no matter who is around or what is done to stop him.

That is what happened with Davis.  I remember being home one time when he chose to run.  We all tried to talk him down.  It was the most intense of nights.

When Davis was on the streets, he would stop by the house sometimes. One time he got really sick so we let him stay the night so he wouldn't have to sleep outside.  The next day he woke up and left.

I really didn't know what to do for Davis. He had a special place in my heart and it made me so sad to see him on the streets. In the other home, he was always really nice to me. He loved my dog so much. He would take her and bathe her. That was no small feat. She hated baths and would go no where near the shower room if she thought she was about to get a bath. She weighed 80 pounds and she definitely wasn't doing anything she didn't want. He was patient though and tried to trick her. When that failed, he would just pick her up. I think sometimes my dog was drier than Davis after her bath. It never stopped him though. He tried to befriend my cat too but she kind of hates everyone (including me) so he didn't get very far with her.  He kept trying though.

I knew Davis had to want to be in the home for it to work.  For a while he seemed very indifferent to it.  He is a resourceful kid.  I am sure for a while he felt like he was doing fine and liked his freedom.  I found out that after I left, he had started staying with us more regularly.  The uncle knew Davis from before and really loved him a lot too, so he ended up letting Davis stay with us.  When I found out he was staying with us, I was really happy.

So far things have been going well with Davis.  He didn't want to go back to school.  He has never been crazy about it and really struggled.  His English is pretty good but he struggles to read.  He instead wants to be a mechanic.  So for now, Davis is staying at home and learning English and Math better and soon we will start to look for a garage that will train him.

Meet Davis!

Joel

Where do I start with Joel????

Not really sure.  I don't think I remember the first time I met him.  As I type, I am trying to remember...

I do remember thinking after I knew Joel for a while, he was different.  He is older than most of the boys that were at programs.  He is around 17 or so.  Most of the boys his age didn't come to programs but spent their days doing drugs and causing problems.

Joel would be at programs and would always want to talk.  His English is pretty good, so we never had any problems communicating.  He would ask questions non-stop!  Things about the US, what I thought about Uganda, anything he thought of he asked.

He told me his story.  He said that he was working and his mom told him that he needed to move out.  So he was giving her money to save for him each week.  Well the time came for him to move out and his mom refused to give him the money.  So he had to leave and with no money and no place to go, he ended up on the streets.  He told me he found his way to Kivulu and saw the programs happening so he just joined in.

I remember one time I found him in Kivulu and he looked terrible.  His eye was swollen shut, his clothes were bloody, and he was in pain.  He had been robbed and beaten.  We took him to the hospital and got him treated.  (The doctor was so rude and yelled at me.  Actually that happens almost every time I take a kid to the hospital.  The doctors are just on power trips and I guess it makes them feel better.)  But Joel's eye was swollen shut for a long time.  It is amazing that there wasn't permanent damage to it.

Joel always cares about what he looks like.  When he was on the street, he would pay someone in Kivulu to keep his clothes.  Usually it was the man that washes the clothes and then he would pay extra.  (There are little shacks there that run like laundromats.  You can take clothes to them and they will wash and iron them. He would pay extra to let them stay there until he needed them.)  Even now, he is always concerned about what he wears and how he looks.

A while after meeting Joel, I started to wonder if we could put him in a vocational training program.  He told me he had only completed first grade.  So that wouldn't be possible.  Most vocational schools want the students to have completed at least the first 4 years of secondary school.  Not helpful.  Then Joel got an opportunity to have a job, but he refused it.

That kind of changed Joel in my mind and everyone else's, except one.  I don't blame Joel for refusing.  Unfortunately, there is very much a culture of waiting for handouts in Uganda.  Don't get me wrong, SO MANY people work so hard EVERY SINGLE day!   They work hard without breaks or vacations and are barely making it by.  But because of how aid was previously given (just handed out with nothing required of the people) many people prefer to sit and wait for handouts.  I don't blame people for this.  It is what they have been conditioned to.  It is difficult to change a culture that we helped to create, by we I mean foreigners.  Now aid is changing and organizations are going to a more works based form of giving (teach a trade, the person makes an item, and then gets paid.  Essentially, jobs are created but it is still aid.).   We have the same problems here.  It isn't just in Uganda.

Anyway, back to Joel...

So like many others, Joel had a sense of entitlement.  He made an excuse and refused the job.  He wanted a sponsor so he could go back to school and he preferred to wait on the streets until that could happen.  Eventually, they kicked him out of programs because he was too old.  So he started to stay where Tom and Julius were staying.  He became really close with that uncle and another friend.  She had always loved him and that is how Joel came to be a part of our family.  When Julius and the other boys joined the home, Joel was living with them, so he came too.  People told me I shouldn't give him a chance but my friend loved him a lot and believed in him, so I did too.  Everyone deserves a chance.

Joel was difficult in the beginning.  He missed the uncle he had been staying with and it was really difficult to connect with him.  Since then, we have good days and bad, just like with any of the other kids.  I know Joel belongs in our family and I am happy he is with us.

Meet Joel!

at school

at Lake Victoria

with me at the swimming pool

All I need to know

Remember those posters that said everything I needed to know I learned in Kindergarten?

Well it got me thinking...

I have learned so much from my time in Uganda and especially from the boys.  So I am feeling like everything I need to know, I learned from boys on the street.  Here are a few that came to mind.  Hope you enjoy!

• Everyone deserves a chance.  No matter how wild, out of control, bad mannered, disrespectful, mean, hard, ..., someone is, he deserves a chance.  A lot of times, most of the time, he will surprise you.  I can't tell you how many times these boys have been written off as worthless, stupid, bad, unchangeable, incapable of love, undeserving of love, and incapable of amounting to anything.  It isn't true. They are changing before my eyes.  They just need love, patience, and encouragement.   Maybe that is all that person you are thinking of right now needs too.
• Love is enough.  A lot of times, ok most times, I have no clue what I am doing.  I don't know if it will work, if it is a good idea, if it is crazy, or if it will make a difference.  I say the wrong things to the kids all the time, we get angry at each other.  Generally, we are a mess.  It is one big trial and error.  In complete chaos, what keeps us coming back?  Simple.  LOVE.  I love those kids more than anything and they know it.  When we mess up, love helps us to apologize and forgive.  It makes us want the best for us all.  It heals our hurts.  It helps us to put others first.  When ever I am having a bad day, frustrated with everything, and ready to give up, I will hear one of their voices tell me they love me and it is enough.  To know I am so undeserving of their love, but they give it freely keeps me going.  It makes me know everything will be ok.  We will be ok. 
• Miracles happen.  You don't hear so much about modern day miracles.  It seems like most people(myself included) feel like healings and miracles were left to the Bible.  But, Jesus is still performing miracles and if you look, you will see them.  I have witnessed transformations that I never thought could happen.  Only explanation?  Miracle.  We have been without food and money and not sure where we were going to get food for the next month.  But we did.  How?  Miracle.  I have been praying asking God for confirmation.  The doorbell rang seconds later with the mailman delivering my confirmation.  Miracle.  Boys whose families said they didn't want them, have welcomed them home with open arms and happy celebrations.  Miracle.  God is still a God of miracles.  Jesus still heals.  He still performs miracles.  
• You don't know what has happened, so always be kind.  When the boys are on the streets, you can imagine what has happened to them, but they rarely tell the truth.  Maybe it is because they are ashamed, maybe because it is too painful to remember, maybe it is just because it is personal and they don't want to share.  Sometimes you can tell the kids are sad and heartbroken.  Sometimes they seem happy and joyful.  Just because they are happy and joyful doesn't mean that they aren't hurting.  Just because they are acting out, doesn't mean they are a bad kid.  Knowing them has reminded me that you never know someone's story, and so it is best to always treat people with kindness.  Maybe they are mean and hurtful because they are so afraid of being hurt again, they just want to make sure no one gets too close.  Maybe they push you away because they have never been loved before and the idea scares them.  You just never know.  Maybe that really mean, grouchy person you are thinking of right now, is just really hurting and your kind words could make a difference.
• Kids are kids, everywhere.  Just the other day, I was reading something about kids and thought, "Hey, the boys do that."  It dawned on me, kids are kids no matter where they live.  They have good days and bad.  Some days they never want to leave your side, others they want to be as far away as possible.  They love to play and laugh and do silly things.  They are imaginative, resourceful, and creative.  They have an innocence to them, even when people have robbed them of it.  They need love and affirmation and good role models.  They need to be reassured of their place in this world and their worth.  It doesn't matter if I am talking about the boys in Uganda or in Antarctica, boys are boys.  Kids are kids.
• Don't judge what's on the outside.  When you look at a boy on the street, you see a dirty, scrappy little mess.  Maybe shoes, maybe barefoot, mismatched and missized clothes.  Probably covered in dirt, grease, or oil.  Maybe high.  On the outside, they look a mess.  They look like you might want to cross the street or hold your purse and bags a little bit tighter if they are walking towards you.  But on the inside...They can be some of the best kids you will ever meet in your life.  So kind, so generous, so joyful, so loving.  I can't count how many times a boy insisted I share his one meal of the day with him, or the time a boy took off his shoe for an aunt because hers broke and he didn't want her walking barefoot, or how they will help with anything you ask.  It is true, you can't judge a book by its cover.  These kids have taught me to look deeper than what is on the outside.

Tom

Tom was the first boy I chose to sponsor.

He lived at the bead house with Julius and Jacob.  He was a lot younger(11 or 12) so he wasn't part of the program really.  He helped make beads sometimes, but really the guy that managed the program(uncle) found him on the street and felt like he should bring him home.  So Tom stayed around but there was no money to go to school.

Right away, I noticed how bright Tom was.  When I would go there to teach them, he paid a lot of attention and usually got the right answer.  He was eager to learn.  He was also very polite and well mannered.  He did what he was told and rarely got in trouble.  I saw so much potential in him.  At the time, I still thought that  I was only going to stay in Uganda for a year.  I didn't have extra money, but I felt like if I could only help one boy, he was a good candidate.

So I made a deal.  I agreed to pay school fees if the uncle would take care of everything else.  We agreed he would continue to live with him, he would make sure he got to school each day, help with homework, and take care of all of the school supplies if I provided everything else.

Tom went to school and tested for which grade he would be placed in.  He could have been placed in fourth grade but he felt he would do better if he started in third.  He was so happy to be in school and worked so hard.  Each term, he was in the top 4, sometimes even first.  He scored almost perfect 100s every time.  If he wasn't first, he was so sad.

Tom lost both of his parents.  He was staying with an uncle before he came to the streets.  I don't know why he came to the streets but I don't think he was there long before he was taken to the bead house.  Last Fall/early winter, Tom decided that he wanted to go back to his village for a visit.  We of course happily let him go.  Turns out, his uncle was really happy to see him again and wanted him to live there again.  He couldn't provide school fees for Tom but he could provide everything else.  So we all agreed it would be best for Tom to stay with his family and I just continue helping with school fees.

Tom started primary 7 this year.  He skipped a few grades and it has been a little bit difficult for him.  He wanted to stay in class with his friends from the village.  He is still working really hard though and does his best.  Next year he will start secondary school.  I am hoping that he performs well enough on his exam to get into one of the best secondary schools.  He is a really smart kid and has a bright future ahead of him.  At one point, he said he wanted to be a missionary or a pastor.  I don't know if that has changed, but what ever he chooses I know he will be great!

Meet Tom!

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helping to make beads

Julius

Julius never talks.  Not like he can't, he just doesn't.  I have said some boys are quiet before, but Julius makes them look like mega extroverts and the life of the party.  I don't think there is a major reason for him not to talk, I think he is just a really quiet person.  He will chat every once in a while, but for the most part he prefers to listen to his music and be alone.

I met Julius when I first got to Uganda.  He was part of the paper bead making program with Jacob.  After a while, he had saved up some money and decided he wanted to return to his village.  He went back and we didn't hear from him or see him for many months.

And then one day he was back.

He rejoined the bead program and life went back to normal for him.  It turned out, his dad got angry at him and sent him away AGAIN! and told him to never come back.  When the bead program ended, Julius came home with us.

It isn't always easy with Julius because you never know if he is happy, angry, sad, etc. because he won't talk about it.  When we do group meetings, he prefers to stay in his room.  When we have dinner, he wants to eat alone.  He just likes to be alone.

Julius goes to school and tries really hard.  he was way behind when he started this year but because of his size, he's 15, they put him in primary 3.  He doesn't speak English well and can't read so he really struggles.  He hasn't given up though and keeps working at learning more and performing better.  Eventually he will catch up.

Julius has been back to his village 3 times now since he has joined the home.  Twice were during school holidays and once was for his sister's wedding.  We are helping him to try and rebuild that relationship with his family.  With time, I think old wounds will heal and they will continue to have happy reunions.

I spoke to Julius on the phone the other day.  It was a very rare occurrence. He wanted to tell me about his family and how happy they were to see him and see how he has been changing.  He told me they also really wanted to meet me.  I told him when I got back, we could go for a visit.

I am happy that he is able to go back to visit his family and reconnect with them.  With the short visits during the school holiday, all of the pressure is off of everyone and they can just reconnect and not have to worry about anything else.  It is really good to be able to see the kids so happy about visiting their families again, especially the ones I never thought would go back.

Meet Julius!

me and Julius

Julius is on the right

Richard and Julius

Julius at our old house.  He is standing outside our door.  The doors in the background were  our neighbors.

John

To be honest, I don't really know John.  He is one of the boys that has joined us after I left.  For the way the other boys rallied to convince me to let him stay, I just knew he was going to be amazing.

John was one of the boys that had been coming around the house for food after I left.  When the other boys found out that we were moving, they insisted that I let John and David come with us.  One boy, Ronald, even offered his spot in the home so John could have a chance.  They told me he has a really hard time on the streets and suffered a lot before, it would be so unfair of me to leave without him.

After I talked to him, I was convinced.  So John moved with us.  I know it is crazy, but I had peace about letting them both move with us even though I didn't know them.  I knew that God wanted him home with us.

I am glad he is.

I think it was not long before he came to live with us that I saw a photo of him with a friend on Facebook.  It made me laugh because he had put his name tag on his chin.  I thought he looked like a nice and funny kid.  I had no idea that he would be soon joining our family.

I spoke to John on the phone the other day.  While all of the other boys were angry at me and refusing to talk to me because they had gotten in trouble with me the day before, he happily took the opportunity to chat.  It never fails, every time we talk, he always says thank you.  He told me he was happy to be in the home, thanked me for sending him to school and helping him to see his family again.  He is always so kind, grateful, and genuine.

If I ask how the boys are or if there are any problems, I will never hear his name mentioned.  He is really quiet, gets along with everyone and stays out of trouble.  He works hard at school, helps around the home, and is overall a really good kid.  He is so easy going, well behaved, and laid back I have to specifically ask about him to get an update.

I wish I could tell you more about John.  I wish I had the history with him that I have with some of the other boys, but actually having a future is better.  He is safe now.  He has hope.  He has a future.  And I am so lucky to get to be a part of it.

Meet John!

John(l) with Jimmy and Julius in their school uniforms

John