One year later

It has been one year since I heard your laugh, or call me mom.  

Only one year, but it feels like an eternity and just yesterday at the same time.

We’ve managed to carry on with life, but still I see people dressed like you and I start to call out to you.  Then I remember.  I see someone that walks like you, and I get excited.  Only to remember.  Sometimes, I swear I hear you, and I look around, but it was only my mind playing tricks on me.  I hear songs that you used to love to dance to, and all of the memories come rushing back.  

For a while, I shut them all out because it was too difficult to remember.  Too painful.  But these days I am learning to let them in.  To feel the sadness and loss.  To know that it was all real and I was lucky to call you mine, even if it was for a short time.

In the year since you have been gone, things haven’t changed much.  I keep hoping for a world that is different.  Better.  One where others wouldn’t have to suffer like you.  But I am still waiting.  Hoping.  

Your brothers are ok, but they miss you too.  Sometimes I find them sitting and watching, quietly, a music video for a song that was written for a friend that was gone too soon.  We all still think about you. Miss you.  Wonder why you had to go.

I know you are in good company there, and probably having the time of your life.  I can’t wait to hear all about it when I see you again.  In the meantime,  we are still fighting the good fight and hoping for a world that is good and just.  Until we meet again, know you are stilled missed deeply and loved.

Imagine

I need you to imagine this.  Please.  It is important that you feel it.  Really feel it.  Don’t turn away anymore.  I know it is the easy thing to do.  But this time, just imagine it was you…or a child you love.

You’re 8 years old.  All you want is to go to school.  You see your friends in their uniforms and they look so smart.  You see them carrying their bags, and you long to hold their books in your hands.  You would do anything to be able to go to school.  You overheard some older guys talking about the city and how it is so magnificent.  It is what dreams are made of.  There are jobs.  There are people with so much money.  Everything you want, you can find in the city.  You don’t know that they are lying.  You don’t know that none of it is true.  You are only 8 years old.  All you know is that your mom died several years ago and your new step mom refuses to let your dad send you to school.  Instead, you are beaten and over-worked.   You are told you are worthless and they are glad your mom died and they wish you would die too.  You are told you will never amount to anything and you are stupid.  You think nothing can be as bad as that.  You imagine you will find money in the city and finally, those books and uniform will be yours.  You will learn to read and write, and the world will be yours.

But it wasn’t.

And still isn’t.

And may never be.

The city is magnificent, but not for an 8 year old boy.  There aren’t people handing out money.  Instead there are people waiting to steal everything from you, even your innocence.  There is nowhere to sleep, except the drainage ditches or storefronts.  But then you risk the police catching you, or someone else, so actually you don’t really sleep much because you have to move around a lot.  It is so cold at night and the shirt and shorts you came in are getting torn and don’t provide for any warmth.  You have a sack that you have found, so sometimes you curl up inside of that but really you feel so cold.  All the time. 

You constantly feel hungry.  Your two choices are taking drugs to dull your hunger or go through the trash pile and hope to find leftovers that someone threw away.  You know that isn’t safe as you have seen your friends die from accidently drinking poison, but the hunger is constantly there.   There is a third option, but you have never stolen anything in your life.  The thought of it makes you feel terrible.

But what choice do you have? 

So you go through the rubbish, next to the stray dogs, and people insult you and tell you how worthless you are.  The dogs bite you because you are stealing their food.  You don’t feel human anymore, so you take drugs to dull your pain.  You start to steal because everything good that was inside of you has slowly been erased with every single name and bad word hurled your way.  You just don’t care anymore.

Before you know it, years have gone by.  You never got the chance to study.  You no longer believe you can.  You no longer believe that you are good for anything. 

You no longer have any hope.

Sounds miserable doesn’t it?  That is life for so many children that I love so incredibly much.  

They need you to care.  Care enough to do something.  Today, 20 boys were arrested and taken.  To where?  We don’t know.  How will we get them back?  We don’t know.  Why?  Because the street is their home.  They need you to care enough to act.  They need you to realize that they are important enough to deserve your action.  

I need you to imagine that it was a child you loved. 

I need you to imagine it was your life. 

Now I need you to act. 

You have the choice.  You have the opportunity to do something.  To change someone’s life.  To allow someone to simply live again.

They need you. 

Email Amanda at lot2545@gmail.com for more info on how to get involved.

Found...if only temporarily

My lost sheep came home this week.  I know that Heaven was rejoicing.  He was so lost, and then he was home.  It only lasted 2 days, but I have hope that he will come back again.  The first day he came home, he talked more than he ever had.  Before, whenever I asked him a question, he would start to answer and then stop mid-sentence before really saying anything and say “let’s leave that conversation” or “be easy”.  But Thursday, he talked.  A lot.  I think that he just needed someone to hear him that day.  

To be known. 

To be heard. 

This life has taken these boys’ voices.  It has silenced them and told them they don’t matter.   They just internalize everything and keep it on their hearts.  Soon, the lies they tell themselves are louder than the lies the world has told them.  They don’t know anymore that God made them perfectly.  They don’t know that they are destined for great things.  They don’t know how loved they really are.  They don’t know that they are worth more than all of the gold in the world.

This world has stolen so much from them.  They have had to make choices no one should make, let alone a child.  When they should have been in school, or playing soccer and other games with friends, they were on the streets deciding if they wanted to stay kind, innocent, and pure, or if they wanted to survive.  Is it any wonder that they hate the world?  It robbed them of so much:  of their goodness, of their soul.  It took my lost sheep and so many others, so far away, believing that they aren’t good or lovable.  No matter how many times I say it, it is never believed, because this life has told them differently too many times.  They are beat, shot at, abused, insulted, and taken advantage of.  

Why?  

For what?  

Telling him I love him, that God loves him, every second of everyday would still not be enough times to erase how many times this world has shown him that his life doesn’t matter.  So I said goodbye again last night, appreciating the 2 days I had with him, praying that God would continue to keep him safe, and hating those that broke him almost beyond repair.

I know there is nothing I can do, but I still have hope.  And I am clinging desperately to it.  I know God hears my prayers every night for him and that’s why I can still see him and tell him I love him.  I know God will hear my prayers to shout louder and drown out the lies he hears.  I know truth and love will finally win.  Because it always does.   It is just taking a little longer this time…

I hope you will join me in my prayers, so my lost sheep will be found for good.

Etsy Sale

We are launching a new line of jewelry next month.  To make room for the new things, we are having a 50% off sale on our current Etsy stock!  Use the code 50FIFTY at checkout from now until the end of August.  Your purchase still empowers a woman with a fair wage and helps us to feed our boys.  Make sure you share the promo code with your friends also!

Just a few of the things left on Etsy:

Meet Mukasa

Meet Mukasa Fahad. Mukasa joined us at the beginning of this year. He knew one of our boys, John, when they were on the street. The first day that John was on the street, Mukasa saw him and helped him know where to go and where was a safe place to sleep. They didn't see each other again until the beginning of this year. They ran in to each other and Mukasa remembered him. Mukasa loves school and was trying to work to pay his own school fees, but couldn't manage. He lost his father and his mother's family doesn't want him. His stepmom tried carrying for him, but struggled with her biological children. Mukasa is super helpful and easy going. He is honest, hard-working, and focused. We realized the potential in him, and decided to put him in secondary school. He loves art, especially drawing. He is in his first year and will join the boarding section next term.

Prayer requests for Mukasa:
For him to continue to stay focused on his future and perform well in school
For his relationship with his family to improve and them to welcome him
For us to find sponsors for him so we can continue to provide school fees for him
For his love of art to continue to grow and develop

Meet Yusuf

Meet Bogere Yusuf. Yusuf joined us at the beginning of last term. We have known him for many years. He was living at a home that barely gave the boys anything but a place to sleep. He was helping at our friend's programs in the slums, and was a really great leader. He would run the programs even when our friend was late and the boys really listened and respected him. Yusuf joined primary 5 last term in the boarding section. He is serious about school and is trying really hard to catch up. His teacher loves him and says he is well-behaved. Yusuf loves to play soccer and is looking forward to the school holiday, so he can go back to his soccer team. He says the only thing he doesn't like about being at school is he doesn't get the chance to play any soccer. Yusuf is really quiet until you get to know him. He is soft-spoken and laid back. He is really helpful.

Prayer requests for Yusef:
For him to catch up and perform well in school
For his talent in soccer to grow and for it to provide greater opportunities for him, especially when he reaches secondary level at school where he could get scholarships for playing
For us to find sponsors for him, so we can continue providing school fees for him
For his relationship with his mom to continue to improve

Things going on

I have now been back in Uganda almost a month.  I am so happy to be home with the boys.  It has been a good month, and so exciting to see how the boys are growing and changing so much.  It has been a busy month also, catching up on things from when I was gone and reconnecting with people. We are so thankful for those of you that were praying with us for my time in the US to be fruitful.  We found several new sponsors for the boys, and now many are fully sponsored.  We are still praying for a church to join us and we hope you will keep with us in that prayer and for the rest of the boys to find sponsors also.  My hand is also doing much better also, so thank you for those prayers.  I don't cringe in pain anymore when someone shakes my hand.  I know soon it will be completely healed.  It was also so encouraging to meet so many new people and have them join our story.  We appreciate each one of you!

One of the first things that we did, was to visit Mbazira in his village.  We were able to resettle him with his father several months ago.  Mbazira loves to raise animals and farm, so he wanted to start raising pigs.  When we visited him, we were able to get him started with 2 piglets, a house and food for them.  He has big plans for his pig project.  He eventually wants to be able to buy a motorcycle with the money he saves from selling the offspring, and expand to caring for other animals.  He wants to help his family fix their house and build his own on his family's land.  We were so happy to see Mbazira doing well in his village and reunited with his family.  That is the ideal outcome for each boy, and we are so happy that it was possible for Mbazira!

I have jumped right back in with helping at our friend's programs for boys still on the street.  Even while I was gone, Sylvester and Richard, attended the programs every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  Sylvester is the cook and helps run the programs.  It is so cute to hear the boys call him uncle.  He wants to be a social worker when he is older and wanted to volunteer somewhere to gain some experience.  He has found something that his heart loves and he wakes up super early so he can get there and have the food ready for lunch for the 70 or so kids that come to the programs. Richard helps with first aid and general things around the program.  He loves those boys so much, and they know it.  Everything he has he pours out to them, day after day.  It is so amazing to see these boys come full circle.  They get the difference the programs made in their lives, and as a result want to help the boys there.  They are making me so incredibly proud.  If you doubt what you are doing is making a difference in these boys' lives, just look to these two.  They are already changing things here and it wouldn't be possible without your love, prayers, and support!  Please keep our friend, Kevin, and his programs in your prayers.  He doesn't have any support for the programs and uses his own earnings to feed the kids.  Programs have been sporadic lately because there hasn't been enough money.  Please pray he is able to find consistent support for his programs.

Other good news: Small David has returned home. (He left while I was gone.) He is learning to drive and hopes to have a job driving a school bus when he receives his driving permit in a few weeks.  He will be moving out soon, into his own apartment. Davis moved out of the house about 2 weeks ago after saving enough money from his job to rent his own apartment.  He is working fixing computers still and is able to take care of himself now. Moses didn't make it in boarding school, too many restrictions and rules for him to manage.  BUT, he is now living with a friend learning to make sandals during the day and studying at night for the primary leaving exam.  He likes going to school now, as it is only a few hours a day and not so restrictive. We have started working with a new group of women that make jewelry.  They are all internally displaced people and live near stone quarries.  The women are all survivors from the war in the north and fled to the city.  Many of their husbands were killed in the war, and now they are trying to provide for their children on their own.  The only opportunity they have is selling fruits in the city or working in the stone quarry.  Both pay pennies a day.  Making the beads provides a small income to help them.  We are launching their line next month, and right now you can shop our Etsy shop at 50% off everything using the code 50FIFTY at checkout! We have a new puppy, Thor.  He was wandering the street in front of our house a few Sundays ago.  He was crying and chasing everyone.  He almost was run over by a motorcycle, then a boy picked him up and kicked him.  The boys ran to his aid and took him home.  His best friend at home is Mukasa and he cries whenever Mukasa leaves him, but everyone loves him.

THANK YOU FOR ALL OF YOUR PRAYERS AND SUPPORT!!

Prayer requests: For all of the needs of the home to continue to be met, especially for the boys that don't have sponsors to get For the new women's group.  For stores to be willing to sell their jewelry, people to have jewelry parties, and for the jewelry line to be successful. For the boys to continue to heal and change.  For them to know they are loved and that God has great plans for each one of them.  For them to be able to let go of their pasts, and instead look to their futures. We have tried and tried to find an art teacher, but each one has disappointed us.  Please pray that we would find one that is serious and willing to teach the boys. For our friend's programs.  That they would become fully funded.  For the boys still on the streets.  The rainy season is starting and it usually rains at night.  For them sleeping outside, it makes for many sleepless and freezing nights.  Pray for their safety and health and for those that want to return to their villages, for a way to go back.

Easy ways to get involved: Shop our Etsy store using code 50FIFTY for 50% off your order. Set Welzoo as your internet home page and choose LOT2545 as the charity to benefit. Buy coffee from Just Love Coffee Roasters and choose LOT2545 as the charity to benefit. Share our website, Facebook, or Instagram with your friends and tell them about what we are doing. Use Paypal to give a one time gift or recurring gift or mail a check payable to LOT2545 to LOT2545, 190 Clover Lane, Medford, OR 97501 Shop Amazon Smile and choose LOT2545 as the charity to benefit.