Our First Year

I don't know where this year went.  It definitely flew by.  It seems like just yesterday I was boarding a plane to Uganda.

We accomplished far more this year than I ever imagined possible and I am totally in awe of how God has continued to provide for us.  I know it was Him all along.  I know He was the one to stir in your hearts, to urge you to pray, to urge you to give, to urge you to buy.  Thank you for listening.  Thank you for being a part of this amazing year.  Thank you for taking this journey with us.

When the year started, it started in chaos.  Everything fell to pieces.  I thought everything was over before it ever started.  Be glad you weren't in Uganda with me in the beginning.  All I could do was cry.  Not so much for me, even though I was hurt, but my heart broke for the boys.  Over night they were almost homeless again and all I could do was watch.  I didn't have a home for them yet and because I put my trust in the wrong people, the boys were suffering.

Well thankfully, God had a plan.  I see it now.  I couldn't then, but I do now.  All I can say is thank goodness I serve a God that catches me every time I screw up and loves these kids more than I can ever imagine.  He provided a home, not once but twice.  He provided people I could trust.  He has provided.

We started the year with 8 kids.  We now have 21.  It has always been "just one more".  What difference will it make if we take just one more.  It doesn't make so much difference to us, but it makes a difference to him. So we always say yes.  Looking back over the year, I have no idea how we have been able to take care of so many kids.  Every month, I am stressed to the max about money.  Every month, I feel like there isn't going to be enough.  But somehow we always manage.  Somehow there is always enough.

There have been a lot of lessons learned this year.  About myself, about the boys, about faith, about God.

There have been a lot of ups and downs this year too.  A lot of worry and fear.

But here we are, on the eve of a new year.  We made it.  All of the boys are in the home.  They are all happy.  They are all healing.  I never dreamed any of this would be possible.

I am looking forward to the new year.  To seeing which "just one more" will be added.  To seeing the men these boys are turning into.  To seeing what else God has in store for us.

Thank you for being here.  Thank you for believing in us and what we are doing.  Thank you for every prayer you have ever said for us.  Thank you for every bead you have purchased.  Thank you for caring about these boys.  Thank you!

Some photos from this year

me and Julius

Richard

Ronald

our current home

Little David and Richard playing in the old house

Uncle Patrick and Ibra

Ibra at school

Jimmy

Jacob

Big David, John M., Jimmy, Julius

Ibra, John, Moses in our old house

The boys playing in our old house with puzzles and army men

homework time

Joel, Dunkan, Uncle Steven, Julius, Jacob, David, Richard in our old house

I wish

These last few weeks, I have been really discouraged and felt like I was being attacked on all sides.  I felt like someone was doing everything they could to make me want to give up on Uganda, to give up on the boys.  Things I was really hopeful about, didn't work out.  My dog died.  Promises of help, never came through.  Unkind words. One of the boys ran away.  For others, it seems so easy.  Crisis after crisis and I am not there.

So many things.

And I thought, maybe Uganda isn't in God's plan for me.  Maybe that is why I am not back.  Maybe I should give up, just get a job, and send money.  The kids will be fine.

I actually considered it.  In a moment of frustration and weakness, I considered never returning to Uganda.  I thought about what I could do here, what kind of job I could have.

Ugh.

That is all I can say for that.

Thankfully yesterday happened and my hope has been restored.  Even when I am angry at God or doubting that He has great things in store for me, He still loves me and wants to give me hope and encouragement.  Yesterday was my reminder.

It started out at the market.  It was an amazing day and people were buying the jewelry before I even had it displayed.  They had kind and encouraging words.  I left the market knowing that God loved these kids, He put them in my life and He would bring our family back together when the time was right.  He promises that He will make everything beautiful in its time.  I left the market knowing that when the time was right, it would be the most beautiful of days when I get back to Uganda.

It was enough.

But He didn't stop there.

I talked to the boys for over an hour.  I had to apologize to one because I got angry the last time I spoke to him and it wasn't his fault.  I thought he wouldn't want to talk to me but he did.  He accepted my apology and  moved on and was laughing and joking with me.

But He didn't stop there.

I was talking to one of the boys that has had a difficult time adjusting to living in the home.  When he first got there, he stole so many things from everyone and caused so many problems until we discovered it was him.  He has ran away at least twice, one time coming back with chicken pox.  He is different now and is working really hard at school and trying to behave well.

The last time we talked last week he told me he had a story he wanted to tell me.  As he was telling me the story, we ran out of airtime.  I kind of forgot about it until yesterday.  He said to me, "Don't you remember I was telling you a story?  I never finished."  And he began his story again.  It was his story.  His story of how he came into the house.  When he was finished he said, "I sit here and wonder, why you took me?  I was a bad boy.  I don't get it."

I asked him if he wanted to know why and of course he said yes.  I told him that I loved him and thought he deserved a chance.  I told him I knew he could be different.  I told him I knew he could be a good boy, I saw something in him and believed in him even if he didn't.

My wish?

That these kids could see themselves how I do, or more importantly how God does.  I wish that they could see that they were wonderfully made by an everlasting God with unfailing love.  I wish that they could put their trust in their Creator knowing He made each one of them for a purpose. A good purpose.

The kids aren't the only ones that need that reminder.  Sometimes I do too.  Maybe so do you?

Today my hope is restored.  My faith is in a God that loves these kids, and me, more than I can ever imagine.  He works everything for His good.  He makes everything beautiful in its time...in His time.

I pray that I never forget that again.  I pray friends that you never forget it either and it would give you comfort if you are struggling or doubting of the great plans He has in store for you.

What I miss most

What do I miss most about Uganda?

It isn't the kids.  Even though I miss them so incredibly much, there aren't words to describe it.  I do miss their beautiful smiles, their kindness, their jokes, their craziness, even how they do things just to drive me crazy.  I miss them every day, every second.  But I miss something else more...

It isn't the food, although I did make cabbage the other night how the kids do in Uganda.

It isn't the traffic or the dirt...

It isn't my dog or cat, although I do miss them and feel like I am never going to see them again at this rate...

It is one thing...

GOD

The thing I miss most about Uganda is God.  You might wonder how is that possible?  God is everywhere.  God is always with you.  And you are right.  But I feel his presence more in Uganda.  I have never felt closer to  Him, than when I am in Uganda.

Let me explain...

In Uganda, I know every day I am going to fail.  I currently have 18 boys in my home.  Eighteen boys.  Several have come after I left, some are just there for the school holiday.  But 18 boys nonetheless.  Eighteen boys that are so broken and hurting that somedays they just can't manage "normal".  The can't manage to have someone love them unconditionally.  They can't manage to have someone take care of them.  They don't know how to be safe and secure in a home.  They don't know how to not live on the streets because that is where they have lived for the last 1-10 years.

What do you do with that????

Absolutely nothing, because no matter what I try, I will fail.  I won't say the right things.  I can't convince them they are safe.  I can't make their heart change.  I can't make them stop gambling or doing drugs.  I can't do anything...

So I pray and I fast.

I turn everything over to God and I ask Him to change the boys.  I ask Him to bring them close.  I ask Him to change their hearts.  And He does.  I see Him working in the boys everyday.

I SEE HIM WORKING!

And it is amazing!  I feel His presence in the house and I see successes because of HIM.

Even though there are only 18 boys in the house, where we were living before we were feeding an extra 5 or so boys every day.  Food went quickly.  There were always extra kids at the house.  One time in particular, when I was back in Uganda at the beginning of this year, food was almost over.  We had maybe 2 days left and I didn't have any money.  I didn't even have hope of getting any money.  And I had no idea how we were going to buy more food.

But I prayed and fasted.

Guess what happened?

We got money for food!  Not only did we get money for food but we were even able to buy sugar!  HUGE!

In Uganda, I have no choice but to trust God for every need.  I know I cannot do it without Him.  I trust on Him solely and completely.  I have no choice.

Here...????

There is so much.  I fall into the trap of thinking I don't need Him.  Living in a country where everyone's only hope is that God is going to provide for them everyday is very different than here.  In Uganda, every day I pray for strength just to make it through the day.  I don't pray that here.  More or less, compared to Uganda, my life is easy here.

Point is, things that I pray for every day in Uganda, I take for granted here.  Because it simply is.  Because life is easier here, I find myself praying less altogether.

The first time I was back, I didn't understand what was happening.  I didn't know why I felt so far from God.  It wasn't and isn't because He went anywhere.  He is still right here with me, like always.  I just get caught up thinking I don't need to rely on Him as much.

Truth is, it is here when I need Him the most.....

The rest of my weekend

I said that I would share the rest of my weekend and all of the God-given moments in it in my last post but haven't yet. So here goes...

On Friday, one of the uncles was supposed to be going to a prison to look for one of our kids that was taken during the riots.  So I was going to get photos developed of the boy so they knew who to look for at the prison.  I was told that there was a shop in Kivulu that would print them, but when I got there I found the machine broken.  Since I needed medical supplies also, I decided to just go to town and get them printed quickly and get the supplies and return.  As I was leaving, 2 of the boys(Ibra and Junior) started walking with me and I told them they could come if they wanted as I was just going very quickly.  Two hours later we were finally heading back to Kivulu but those 2 hours were precious.  The kids looked a mess and it was obvious they were street kids so everyone was staring and wondering what I was doing.  Some even made comments and asked what I was doing.  The best part was both of the boys are kind of new so I don't know them so well.  It gave me plenty of time to just spend with them and build that relationship.  Ibra is a really sweet kid and the time helped me to connect more with him.  Junior, is a bit of a handful and always wants attention, no matter if it is good or bad, and doesn't listen very well.  Because of this, I find it difficult to connect with him on a regular day because I am always losing my patience with him.  This afternoon, he was a perfect angel and so nice and well behaved that I saw another side of him and it really made me love him.  The difference of being away from the crowd of kids and not having to fight for my attention made all the difference.  Had I not taken them, I would still lose my patience with Junior because I would have never seen a good side to him.

As soon as I got back to Kivulu, Ibra was getting the medical stuff out.  A month or so ago, he would be willing to help every day with medical treatments.  As of late, he has been kind of distant and not making good choices for himself.  Therefore, he hasn't really been with it enough to help or been around.  I really love Ibra and he is definitely one of my favorites, so the recent difficult times have really been breaking my heart.  I don't know how to help him or to get him to make good choices.  So this day when he was completely sober and ready to start medical, I was SO happy.  He helped me the whole time and was really good and patient with the boys.  He has a good heart and it just reminded me what a good kid he can be and that I shouldn't give up on him, no matter how frustrated I get.

After medical was over, the other boys were going to play soccer.  As I was getting ready to go to the field, I saw our youngest boy, Yehaya, laying on the ground.  I knew something had to be wrong with him because he is usually a ball of energy, running, screaming and yelling at someone.  When he wouldn't respond to me, Ibra helped him to his feet and helped him walk to the clinic.  Yehaya makes sure that no one gets close to him.  I don't think he has any friends, only boys that tolerate him.  Because he is the smallest, he gets picked on a lot, especially since he flips out.  The boys think it is funny when he goes into one of his rages(imagine a Tasmanian devil) and many of them will pick on him just so he will flip out.  Ibra was so sweet with him and really paying attention to him and making sure he got to the clinic ok.  Yehaya is afraid of needles so Ibra sat with him and reassured him and helped him to take his medicine.  Even when Yehaya got sick and threw up everywhere, Ibra didn't leave his side.  It soon became obvious that the lady at the clinic couldn't help him and we needed to go to the hospital.  So an uncle carried him there but Ibra and I were left to tend to him.  Since he couldn't walk, Ibra carried him to the lab and to the room, and held him while they were taking his blood.  The doctor wanted him to stay over night and I feared he would wake up in the night and try and run.  Ibra offered to spend the night in the hospital with him and make sure he was fine.  When another boy Matthew found out Yehaya was in hospital, he insisted in staying with him also.  I was so proud of them, especially Ibra.  He was the boy that day that I know he can be.  I wish I saw it more often.

The next day, Saturday, we had planned an outing for the leaders and decided to rent a taxi and take some of the boys with us.  We were going to a musical at an international school here.  We got Yehaya out of the hospital in time, and so he, Ibra, and Matthew were the first boys chosen.  When we got to the church, the uncle had told many boys to go and bathe so they would be ready to go.  I wanted John to go, because he is one of my favorites, but sometimes he can be a bit stubborn with the uncles and other boys.  Since the uncle knows how much I love him, he told him to get ready and we went with him and 9 other boys.  John doesn't really show any emotion to anything and always acts like he is too cool for everything.  During the play, both him and Ibra, were on the edges of their seats, so involved and paying so much attention.  Regardless of how he acts, he is still just a kid, and it is moments like these that let them forget having to survive the streets and be tough so no one takes advantage of them and just be kids.  It was a beautiful thing to see.

On the way back to Kivulu, Richard got really sick.  That is where my other post picked up.  But again, Ibra was the first to volunteer to stay at the clinic.  In a different environment, that kid would be so different.  The other day, he told me he wanted to be a doctor.  It isn't impossible, but it is going to be difficult for him to make it, which is sad.  He would be a great doctor...

God is working in these boys' lives, even if they don't know it or realize it.  I pray that He continues to and gives them the strength and courage to do the right thing and make good choices.  I hope you will pray for them also.

**If you are interested in supporting me and my mission/work here (everything helps!) you can give online at www.globaltrainingnetwork.org and all donations are tax-deductible, just go to the support tab and preference my ministry.