What's going on?

So what has been going on with boys?

Lots!

The boys are getting ready to start school next week.  David, one of the oldest boys at the house, is starting primary 7 this year.  This is probably the most important grade for kids in Uganda because their performance determines whether they will be able to continue on to secondary school.  They have so much to learn to get ready for the national exam called the PLE.  So with this in mind, we are letting David move to the boarding section at school.  This will allow him to study from morning to night and then some.  Hopefully this will also help him to catch up more and really only worry about his studies.  We were talking on the phone yesterday and he was telling me how excited he was for school.

Tom, who was in the village with his uncle, just completed Primary 7.  He passed the test and is going to be able to start secondary school.  Did I mention that he skipped 3 grades?   He is a really smart kid and loves school.  I was afraid that he wouldn't pass or perform poorly because he skipped so many grades but he did well.  He has been staying at the house for the holiday but will return to the village for secondary school.  He will continue to live with his uncle.

Jacob, Davis, Kansiime and Vincent all finished their first term in vocational training.  They are studying to become mechanics.  It was a short program for only 3 months.  It was more of an introductory course.  We had been trying to get them to do an apprenticeship with a garage but it was so expensive and we weren't really sure that they would like it. Davis, being super ambitious, actually found the school and took Steven there to see it.  When they began, the headmistress was sure she wasn't going to like them and that they weren't going to perform well or take anything seriously.  By the end, they had charmed her and she was really impressed with them.  She went on and on to Steven about how good they were and how they took everything so seriously.

Ronald is doing really well these days.  He doesn't get in trouble as much anymore and is setting better examples for the other boys.  He was training at a local gym for boxing.  It was a reward for taking school seriously and being a good example to the other boys.  It kept his spirit up and kept him busy.  He really enjoyed it and will continue if he chooses.  He performed well last year in primary 4 and wanted to skip primary 5.  We are letting him so he will be in primary 6 this year.

Unfortunately, Ibra still is not doing well in school so we pulled him from the boarding section and are making him study from home.  We feel that he is just playing around too much at school and they are not hard enough on him.  So if he wants to return to boarding school, he has to earn the privilege again.

The boys all were able to return to their villages again.  Some have stayed gone most of the school holiday and are really excited for that.  It means those relationships are healing and rebuilding.  Some of the boys returned for the first time and those visits went well.

A friend is in Uganda right now and is staying at the house with the boys.  So expect a bunch of new photos coming soon.  (Check out and like us on Facebook.  The pictures will probably mostly be on there.) She was so kind to skype me yesterday and I got to see the boys for the first time in 10 months.  HOLY GUACAMOLE!  They are not the little boys I left behind.  Not that they were in fact little, but in my mind they were.  They have grown so much.  It is unbelievable.  Now I don't really have a leg to stand on when they want to argue with me over them being men.  It seems that they have become young men since I have been gone.

On a sadder note, we thought Joseph was really making progress.  He was getting in less trouble, listening, being respectful.  He even asked if he could return to school (He refused to go the last 2 terms).  So we were really excited.  But...it seems our excitement was premature.  He has taken a turn for the worse and is spiraling out of control again.  He sneaks out of the house and goes back to the slum and stays gone for the night.  He has decided again that he doesn't want to be in school.  And probably if he is spending so much time in the slum, it would be safe to assume that he is using drugs again.  We aren't ready to give up on him but it is really difficult and super frustrating to try and help when he doesn't let us.  I know there are a million things going on with him.  I know he has experienced unimaginable things.  But we don't know what to do anymore.  Prayers for all of us would be much appreciated.

Prayer requests:

• For Joseph, that his heart would heal and settle, that he would want to be in school, that he would want to stay away from the slum and all of the negative stuff that goes on there, that he would just finally let us in
• For all of the boys to take school seriously, especially David-he is going to have a lot more freedom, and Ibra so he can catch up and really perform to his potential
• that all of the boys would continue to rebuild the relationships with their families
• for Steven and the other staff to have wisdom as to how to best deal with the boys and for patience and renewal of heart and spirit when they are feeling exhausted and overwhelmed
• to find sponsors for the boys that don't have any and for myself so I can get back to Uganda quickly

Thank you for your prayers and support!  They mean the world to us!

Ronald

I remember one night, right after Ronald came into the home, we were sitting and talking.  I was asking him about his past.  He was talking very freely with me.  He told me about being in the village, coming to the city, staying in the slum with an aunt, being taken back to the village, but when I asked him why he left, he shut down and said he didn't want to talk any more.

Of course I didn't push him and I changed the subject.

I am sure you are wondering what happened now.  What could have been so bad that he didn't want to talk about it?  I still don't know.  I may never know.  And I have to be ok with that.  I have to be ok knowing that I will probably never know the boys' histories.  In a way, I am glad.  I don't think I could handle knowing.  But in a way, its also strange.  Our past is so much of who we are.  All of our experiences shape how we view the world and interact with people.

But truth is, I don't need to hear the stories to know.  I have started reading books on trauma and abuse lately.  I was just telling a friend today if I could go back and do life over, I would go to school for counseling and fashion.  Weird combination, huh?  I feel very inadequately prepared to deal with the aftermath of the boys' previous lives.  It is overwhelming and I don't know where to begin or what the right thing to do is.

Because of the books I am reading, I am able to start putting the puzzle together.  I read about the visible symptoms of the effects of abuse and trauma and it finally makes since why he does this or that.  Not just Ronald, but all of the boys.

In a way, I think that the past can weigh us down.  How many times have you run into someone that used to know you when... And you feel like they are silently judging you and are in disbelief that you are different now.  Or something terrible happened to you and everyone just looks at you with that pitying look.

Yeah...me too.  It stinks.

The boys all have a lot of stuff weighing them down.  Their lives before the streets and on the streets were not filled with happy memories.  But when they come into the home, they can leave it all behind.  I don't need to hear their stories to know I love them.  I don't need to know their past.  In the home, we are starting over.  It is a new beginning.  A chance to leave their old lives behind and have a future filled with hope and love.  Sometimes it is difficult but at least they are trying.

The first time I met Ronald was to take him to the clinic.  I didn't know him but noticed he had a huge infected cut on both of his legs, I think one of the other boys actually took me to see him.  It was obvious they hurt him and he should be on antibiotics.  So off to the clinic we went.  I sat there with him as they tried to get the infection out of his wounds.  He tried so hard not to cry.

From that moment on, I knew I loved him.  I prayed many prayers for him, begging God to help him trust me.  Of course God answered.

Ronald is very talkative.  He loves to just run his mouth.  He doesn't need to be talking about anything in particular but he just loves to talk.  If he isn't talking, you know something is wrong.  He is also very charismatic.  The other boys look up to him.  He isn't a very big kid, but he has respect and is very likable.  He is a leader and some days this is very problematic for us because he leads the other boys to trouble.

Lately, he has become obsessed with boxing.  I tried to talk him out of it but he wouldn't give up.  I told him he wasn't disciplined enough because boxers were very serious and the training was difficult.  He said he could do it.  Ronald has had more problems than normal in the home lately.  He has outbursts of anger and becomes very quarrelsome.  He will fight and argue with anyone that annoys him in the slightest bit.  I told him boxers don't behave like that and he said he would change.  So we made another deal.  He promised no more fighting and arguing at home, he would be a good leader and example to the boys, and he could no longer, for any reason, step foot in the slum.  For the holiday, he has been a different kid just like he promised, so soon he will start going to the gym.

My hope is he will learn discipline and it will be therapeutic for him.  My hope is it will help him process whatever has happened and begin to heal.  My hope is this is what he needs to make a fresh start, to leave his past behind and look towards the future.  Who knows, maybe he will win the next gold for Uganda!

Meet Ronald!

when he was still on the streets

with Uncle Lawrence and David

me and Ronald

with Richard on his first day back to school

Generosity

At the beginning of the month, we were able to move into a beautiful new home.  We finally have enough room for us all and our own compound!

The boys love their new home and it is a miracle that we were able to move.  Our old home was so small and cramped.  When I told people about it, they usually just stared at me bewildered trying to figure out how we all fit.  Our neighbors hated us and so did our landlord.  There were always kids around, more than just the ones that lived there.  It was never quiet or calm.  Usually it was complete chaos.

When we were preparing to move, 2 street boys had been hanging around for quite sometime by that point.  They ate at the house everyday and sometimes even slept there.  When the other boys found out that they couldn't move with them, they were so upset!  When I called, they begged me to let them move with us.  I hadn't really made my mind up until I spoke to Ronald.

Ronald

Ronald is as equally sweet as he is stubborn and strong-willed.  There were nights when we first moved into the house that he would insist I read 70 page books to him at once!  He rarely back downs or gives in.  He is a natural leader and the boys follow whatever he says.  Ronald was the ring leader in trying to get me to let the 2 other boys move with us.  He got everyone fired up and had the boys begging and pleading.  

When I finally spoke to Ronald, it was his selflessness that made me give in.  He begged me to let them move.  When I asked him why, he said because they had been on the streets for a while and deserved a chance.  He told me it wasn't fair for us to leave them behind, they were his friends and they should get to come to.  When I told Ronald that wasn't his choice to make, he said something that I will never forget.  He said, "Fine, I will stay behind, just let them go please."

He was willing to return to the streets, so his friends could have a better life.  

He was willing to go without, so they could have.

That is what I saw in him from the first time we met and why I love him so much.  I don't even want to share my room with anyone and he was willing to live on the streets again, just so his friends could have a chance.  He was ready to give up everything because he wanted his friends to have a chance.

Remind you of anything?

Jesus gave up everything for us, so we would have a chance.  He didn't have to.  But He loved us so much and believed that it was our time and we deserved a chance.  So he gave up everything, so we could live, so we could experience the greatest love of all, so we could be saved.

Ronald said that knowing if I accepted his offer, he would probably never have another chance.  But he offered anyway.

Jesus made the offer knowing the great pain He would endure.  But He offered anyway.

Everyday, I feel like Jesus speaks to me through these boys.  They are so hurting and broken, but their hearts are incredibly amazing and generous.  They push me beyond my comfort zone and teach me about true love and selflessness. They are the ones that challenge me to be a better person.

Needless to say, I let the boys move with us.  The newest 2 members of our family are John and David.  Sorry I don't have a picture of David yet.

John

God is good

About 5 months ago, I dropped my wallet when getting out of a taxi.  It caused so many headaches and phone calls to Chase.  I was continually frustrated because I could not get a bank card and it was causing such difficulties trying to get money; people had to wire, I had to transfer, it was a mess.  Finally, about a month ago, I got my bank card.

When I take a boda from the house, 8 out of 10 times, I take the same guy.  He is nice, knows all the places I want to go, and doesn't over charge me so much.  Yesterday, when I got off a boda at my street and was walking towards the house, my normal boda driver walked up to me.  He asked me if I lost my documents. I was so shocked and told him yeah but it was a really long time ago.  He was surprised by that also.  He pulled out of his pocket my driver's license and bank card.  He told me he had found them while driving.  5 months later, my stuff shows up.  Incredible...

After the initial annoyance that this is my life right now (I had just gotten back from fighting to shut a door that absolutely refused at the women's program and was super annoyed.) I realized how amazing it really was.  Where my things were for the last 5 months, I don't know, but they are safe now.

God continues to amaze and surprise me here.  Things I thought were impossible, He has done.  The other day, I was telling a friend I hadn't talked to in a while all the ways God is working here.  It is pretty amazing.

Last night I visited the same house I do every Thursday.  I arrived late and found the boys already in devotions, leading themselves.  They continue to amaze me.  Sometimes it is easy to think that the kids just pray or read the Bible because we are around, but it is totally not the case with these kids.  They really believe and really worship, without being forced or supervised.

I told my friend about Ronald.  How he has started to come to the programs and he even let me treat his wound the other day.  It was a big scratch but it definitely didn't require serious attention.  He came over and sat and waited for me to treat it and even said thank you.  He is an amazing kid and I am so happy he is coming closer.  God heard my prayers to bring him close and he answered them.  An uncle told me that he has been on the streets a long time and works so hard because he refuses to steal.  Ronald is always working and that was why he usually didn't come to programs.  But now he is around and I know great things are going to happen.

Yesterday the church partnered with another organization and came and did HIV testing.  I was really afraid for some of the boys but all the boys tested (most got tested but some are afraid of needles and refused and some weren't around) were negative...including mine :-).


Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26


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