Saturday, February 6, 2016

Palm trees and sunsets

Sometimes when things are so tough around here, like they have been these last two weeks, it is difficult to see the good in the days.  Every thing passes by in a blur as we struggle to just stay afloat in the madness.   I switch to autopilot to get done what needs to get done and I don’t pay attention to much else.

Last week, a boy from the street was beaten so severly.  When I found him, they were refusing to let anyone move him or take him to the hospital.   After arguing and insisting, I was finally able to get him taken to the hospital.  That was Monday night.  He had to be moved to the national hospital because his injuries were so serious.  The hospital has some amazing doctors, but because it is the free hospital where everyone goes, it is incredibly understaffed, and lacking resources.  He wasn’t worked on until Tuesday morning.

Tuesday morning when I got to the hospital, I was certain that he was going to die.  I begged the nurses to help, but there was nothing they could do.  He was having seizures and was unconscious.  It was the longest day.  A doctor finally came and if she would have came any later, I think the story would have ended much differently.  She got the seizures stopped.  He came back to and we were able to get a CT scan.  However, he was really confused and still losing a lot of blood.  Everything was a struggle to get him treatment.  He had to be held down for every shot, test, blood draw.  The stitches in his head were the worst.  It took 5 people to hold him still enough for the doctor to stitch up the wound that was at least what seemed like an inch deep and 3 inches in diameter.  It was an exhausting day, both physically and emotionally.  

After around 13 hours, he was stable enough and I finally left the hospital.  My mind was all over the place.  Wondering how someone could inflict such pain on another, wondering if he was going to make it and if he did what would his condition be, would he really be the same boy we knew.  So many thoughts were wandering through my mind.  

When things were so bad in the morning, and no one was helping, I felt so helpless.  Literally, all I could do was pray continuously and beg God not to take him from us.  I begged for a miracle.  Where I started the day in a panic and terrified, soon this strange calmness came over me and I just knew everything was going to be fine.  On my way home, all of the things that were distracting me and consuming me, made it difficult to pay much attention to anything.

But then.

All of a sudden I looked to my left and saw a cluster of palm trees and the sun was setting so perfectly behind them.  I am sure I have seen the same thing 1000s of times and never paid any attention.  But that day.  The beauty of it struck me to my core.  It consumed me.  At that moment, that quickly fleeting moment, everything fell away except the perfection of the scene and I realized that people dream of living in a place where they can see the same sunset and palm trees that I see every day.  And I felt peace.  I felt hope.  I felt how beautiful and perfect this life is if only I look.  

I keep having these moments, where I feel complete serenity despite life falling apart around me.  They come in a smile or a look, or seeing a boy playing football with the neighbor kids, or the house full of laughter.  I use to take those things for granted.  Didn’t see the beauty in them, but now God uses those moments to speak to my heart and tell me He has got me and I shouldn’t fear.  It is those moments, where I feel like life is perfect, that make me to keep pushing forward.  They encourage me that it is all worth it.  They are always there.  They were always there.  I don’t know what has made the change that I can see them more clearly now.  But because I do, I no longer feel like I am drowning.  I encourage you to see the small moments, those that are ever so brief and can pass in the blink of an eye even go undetected and unnoticed,  but that God is using to encourage you. They are life giving.  Life changing.  Life sustaining.

Be blessed friends.

PS.  The boy is doing so much better.  He is at home and can move on his own and do lots of things for himself.  He still isn't 100%, but he is getting there.