With today being Valentine's Day, everyone is talking about love.
So here I go...
(Just jumped on the bandwagon)
Have any of you heard of the kid president? His videos are all over Facebook and he is so adorable. His pep talk video is amazing and so is this one. It has a great message and I hope it puts a smile on your face.
"Love changes everything, so fill the world with it."
I don't think there were truer words ever spoken.
Love does change things. True love. Love that isn't based on what the other person is or what he/she can do for you. Unconditional love. Unfailing, never ending love.
I didn't know or understand what that meant until God blessed me with these boys. I knew God loved me unconditionally. You know a no strings attached, just loves me because He does, not a loves me because of who or what I am.
I knew it, but I didn't understand. Most love we experience is based on what we can do for the person or what they can do for us. But not with God. And I didn't get it. I fail Him daily. I am everything He tells me not to be most days, but still He gives His love freely. Without asking for anything in return. He just loves.
Then enter the most interesting characters ever into my life.
And my life was flipped upside down. Everything I thought I knew about love, life and happiness got thrown out the window or off a boda. Everything I thought I knew about myself, changed. Everything I thought I knew, wrong.
I am finally beginning to understand how He can love me so incredibly and fiercely that He would move mountains for me. How He could love me despite my failures, despite my weaknesses, despite who I am.
When I met all of the boys, they were still on the streets. They were dirty and hard. The were distant and distrusting. Some had addictions, some fought, some gambled, some stole, some lied, some manipulated...I think you get the idea.
But God gave me His eyes. He let me see past what the rest of the world saw. He let me see past the dirt and bad behaviors.
And I fell hopelessly, madly, unconditionally in love.
I would do anything for them to have a better life. I would do anything for them not to suffer. I would do anything to see them happy. I would do anything for them. A friend used to joke they could ask me for the moon and I would go and try and get it. It is true.
I love them more than anything here on earth.
I love them despite the disappointments.
I love them despite logic.
And I am finally starting to understand how He can love me the same.
Love has changed us. My love for them has changed me. Their love for me has changed me.
It brought me closer to my Savior. It opened my eyes to a world I didn't understand or know existed. It opened my eyes to injustices that we never hear about or chose to turn our backs on. It let me see the eyes of the 147 million orphans in the world and know I had to do something. It made me realize it wasn't ok anymore to sit back and think it was someone else's problem to deal with.
Love changed everything. Love changed my life.
Love can make a difference. It will change you. It will change them. It can bring hope when there is none. It can be a light in the middle of darkness.
I hope that on today, the day of love, and everyday after that you know how loved you are by your Heavenly Father. It isn't a love you have to earn. Don't worry. But it will change you.
Happy Valentine's Day!!!!
Showing posts with label true love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label true love. Show all posts
Friday, February 15, 2013
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
New normal
Recently, I read the title to something and it said, "Jesus wrecked my life." I didn't read the whole thing, so I don't know what that person had to say or what it was about. But after a hard last week with the boys, it made me think...
Jesus wrecked my life too and I couldn't be happier!
I am sure the other article was going in the same way I am but here is my version.
I grew up a Christian but that didn't mean much to me until a friend invited me to an amazing church about 6 years ago. It wasn't until I found a church where I felt at home that my faith started to grow. Soon I started to have a personal relationship with Jesus and finally started listening to what He wanted for my life.
Before God called me to Uganda over 2 years ago, I had big dreams. Dreams of a big house and nice car. Dreams of an amazing career working for the UN traveling all over the world or a professor teaching at a famous university writing tons of books. I had lots of dreams and ambitions. I dreamt of living in Chicago or another big city. I had a wonderful life planned out in my head. It was going to be amazing. A life where I had everything I could ever possibly want.
And then Jesus ruined it...
God called me to Uganda and showed me it wasn't my life to live. He showed me my life was a gift from Him and the greatest way to say thanks was to live a life that honored Him and to follow His will for my life. So in essence, yes Jesus wrecked the life I had planned. He turned it upside down and inside out. But He also showed me it wasn't my life to plan out. It was our Father's. And He planned it a long time ago.
And good thing He did!
He has given me more than I ever could have dreamed. He gave me things that I didn't even know that I wanted. Nineteen "things" actually and hopefully more in the future. Even though I had an amazing life planned out, the life God had planned for me is beyond amazing. Epically amazing!
Sometimes it is difficult but He always gives me the strength and steps in when I miserably fail. Last week was a difficult week with the boys changing schools. The students and teachers at the new schools weren't being kind to the boys and were making fun of them for being so behind and so big in such low grades. It really hurt the boys and some even refused to go to school. Some came to their senses and went back after a day or so, but one boy stubbornly refused all week. I was talking to a friend and I told her I couldn't wait for things to be normal again and she informed me this was my new normal.
New normal...
At first it scared me but then I realized...
I have 19 boys that I love so much. I love them just as much on their good days, as on their bad. Like any other family, we have our good days and bad. We fight and argue. We disagree and annoy each other. And we challenge each other. How we challenge each other!!! But at the end of the day, this is the life God called me to. Jesus ruined my life to bring me into His. It is my new normal. And I love every second of it!
Jesus wrecked my life too and I couldn't be happier!
I am sure the other article was going in the same way I am but here is my version.
I grew up a Christian but that didn't mean much to me until a friend invited me to an amazing church about 6 years ago. It wasn't until I found a church where I felt at home that my faith started to grow. Soon I started to have a personal relationship with Jesus and finally started listening to what He wanted for my life.
Before God called me to Uganda over 2 years ago, I had big dreams. Dreams of a big house and nice car. Dreams of an amazing career working for the UN traveling all over the world or a professor teaching at a famous university writing tons of books. I had lots of dreams and ambitions. I dreamt of living in Chicago or another big city. I had a wonderful life planned out in my head. It was going to be amazing. A life where I had everything I could ever possibly want.
And then Jesus ruined it...
God called me to Uganda and showed me it wasn't my life to live. He showed me my life was a gift from Him and the greatest way to say thanks was to live a life that honored Him and to follow His will for my life. So in essence, yes Jesus wrecked the life I had planned. He turned it upside down and inside out. But He also showed me it wasn't my life to plan out. It was our Father's. And He planned it a long time ago.
And good thing He did!
He has given me more than I ever could have dreamed. He gave me things that I didn't even know that I wanted. Nineteen "things" actually and hopefully more in the future. Even though I had an amazing life planned out, the life God had planned for me is beyond amazing. Epically amazing!
Sometimes it is difficult but He always gives me the strength and steps in when I miserably fail. Last week was a difficult week with the boys changing schools. The students and teachers at the new schools weren't being kind to the boys and were making fun of them for being so behind and so big in such low grades. It really hurt the boys and some even refused to go to school. Some came to their senses and went back after a day or so, but one boy stubbornly refused all week. I was talking to a friend and I told her I couldn't wait for things to be normal again and she informed me this was my new normal.
New normal...
At first it scared me but then I realized...
I have 19 boys that I love so much. I love them just as much on their good days, as on their bad. Like any other family, we have our good days and bad. We fight and argue. We disagree and annoy each other. And we challenge each other. How we challenge each other!!! But at the end of the day, this is the life God called me to. Jesus ruined my life to bring me into His. It is my new normal. And I love every second of it!
Saturday, May 21, 2011
The rest of my weekend
I said that I would share the rest of my weekend and all of the God-given moments in it in my last post but haven't yet. So here goes...
On Friday, one of the uncles was supposed to be going to a prison to look for one of our kids that was taken during the riots. So I was going to get photos developed of the boy so they knew who to look for at the prison. I was told that there was a shop in Kivulu that would print them, but when I got there I found the machine broken. Since I needed medical supplies also, I decided to just go to town and get them printed quickly and get the supplies and return. As I was leaving, 2 of the boys(Ibra and Junior) started walking with me and I told them they could come if they wanted as I was just going very quickly. Two hours later we were finally heading back to Kivulu but those 2 hours were precious. The kids looked a mess and it was obvious they were street kids so everyone was staring and wondering what I was doing. Some even made comments and asked what I was doing. The best part was both of the boys are kind of new so I don't know them so well. It gave me plenty of time to just spend with them and build that relationship. Ibra is a really sweet kid and the time helped me to connect more with him. Junior, is a bit of a handful and always wants attention, no matter if it is good or bad, and doesn't listen very well. Because of this, I find it difficult to connect with him on a regular day because I am always losing my patience with him. This afternoon, he was a perfect angel and so nice and well behaved that I saw another side of him and it really made me love him. The difference of being away from the crowd of kids and not having to fight for my attention made all the difference. Had I not taken them, I would still lose my patience with Junior because I would have never seen a good side to him.
As soon as I got back to Kivulu, Ibra was getting the medical stuff out. A month or so ago, he would be willing to help every day with medical treatments. As of late, he has been kind of distant and not making good choices for himself. Therefore, he hasn't really been with it enough to help or been around. I really love Ibra and he is definitely one of my favorites, so the recent difficult times have really been breaking my heart. I don't know how to help him or to get him to make good choices. So this day when he was completely sober and ready to start medical, I was SO happy. He helped me the whole time and was really good and patient with the boys. He has a good heart and it just reminded me what a good kid he can be and that I shouldn't give up on him, no matter how frustrated I get.
After medical was over, the other boys were going to play soccer. As I was getting ready to go to the field, I saw our youngest boy, Yehaya, laying on the ground. I knew something had to be wrong with him because he is usually a ball of energy, running, screaming and yelling at someone. When he wouldn't respond to me, Ibra helped him to his feet and helped him walk to the clinic. Yehaya makes sure that no one gets close to him. I don't think he has any friends, only boys that tolerate him. Because he is the smallest, he gets picked on a lot, especially since he flips out. The boys think it is funny when he goes into one of his rages(imagine a Tasmanian devil) and many of them will pick on him just so he will flip out. Ibra was so sweet with him and really paying attention to him and making sure he got to the clinic ok. Yehaya is afraid of needles so Ibra sat with him and reassured him and helped him to take his medicine. Even when Yehaya got sick and threw up everywhere, Ibra didn't leave his side. It soon became obvious that the lady at the clinic couldn't help him and we needed to go to the hospital. So an uncle carried him there but Ibra and I were left to tend to him. Since he couldn't walk, Ibra carried him to the lab and to the room, and held him while they were taking his blood. The doctor wanted him to stay over night and I feared he would wake up in the night and try and run. Ibra offered to spend the night in the hospital with him and make sure he was fine. When another boy Matthew found out Yehaya was in hospital, he insisted in staying with him also. I was so proud of them, especially Ibra. He was the boy that day that I know he can be. I wish I saw it more often.
The next day, Saturday, we had planned an outing for the leaders and decided to rent a taxi and take some of the boys with us. We were going to a musical at an international school here. We got Yehaya out of the hospital in time, and so he, Ibra, and Matthew were the first boys chosen. When we got to the church, the uncle had told many boys to go and bathe so they would be ready to go. I wanted John to go, because he is one of my favorites, but sometimes he can be a bit stubborn with the uncles and other boys. Since the uncle knows how much I love him, he told him to get ready and we went with him and 9 other boys. John doesn't really show any emotion to anything and always acts like he is too cool for everything. During the play, both him and Ibra, were on the edges of their seats, so involved and paying so much attention. Regardless of how he acts, he is still just a kid, and it is moments like these that let them forget having to survive the streets and be tough so no one takes advantage of them and just be kids. It was a beautiful thing to see.
On the way back to Kivulu, Richard got really sick. That is where my other post picked up. But again, Ibra was the first to volunteer to stay at the clinic. In a different environment, that kid would be so different. The other day, he told me he wanted to be a doctor. It isn't impossible, but it is going to be difficult for him to make it, which is sad. He would be a great doctor...
God is working in these boys' lives, even if they don't know it or realize it. I pray that He continues to and gives them the strength and courage to do the right thing and make good choices. I hope you will pray for them also.
On Friday, one of the uncles was supposed to be going to a prison to look for one of our kids that was taken during the riots. So I was going to get photos developed of the boy so they knew who to look for at the prison. I was told that there was a shop in Kivulu that would print them, but when I got there I found the machine broken. Since I needed medical supplies also, I decided to just go to town and get them printed quickly and get the supplies and return. As I was leaving, 2 of the boys(Ibra and Junior) started walking with me and I told them they could come if they wanted as I was just going very quickly. Two hours later we were finally heading back to Kivulu but those 2 hours were precious. The kids looked a mess and it was obvious they were street kids so everyone was staring and wondering what I was doing. Some even made comments and asked what I was doing. The best part was both of the boys are kind of new so I don't know them so well. It gave me plenty of time to just spend with them and build that relationship. Ibra is a really sweet kid and the time helped me to connect more with him. Junior, is a bit of a handful and always wants attention, no matter if it is good or bad, and doesn't listen very well. Because of this, I find it difficult to connect with him on a regular day because I am always losing my patience with him. This afternoon, he was a perfect angel and so nice and well behaved that I saw another side of him and it really made me love him. The difference of being away from the crowd of kids and not having to fight for my attention made all the difference. Had I not taken them, I would still lose my patience with Junior because I would have never seen a good side to him.
As soon as I got back to Kivulu, Ibra was getting the medical stuff out. A month or so ago, he would be willing to help every day with medical treatments. As of late, he has been kind of distant and not making good choices for himself. Therefore, he hasn't really been with it enough to help or been around. I really love Ibra and he is definitely one of my favorites, so the recent difficult times have really been breaking my heart. I don't know how to help him or to get him to make good choices. So this day when he was completely sober and ready to start medical, I was SO happy. He helped me the whole time and was really good and patient with the boys. He has a good heart and it just reminded me what a good kid he can be and that I shouldn't give up on him, no matter how frustrated I get.
After medical was over, the other boys were going to play soccer. As I was getting ready to go to the field, I saw our youngest boy, Yehaya, laying on the ground. I knew something had to be wrong with him because he is usually a ball of energy, running, screaming and yelling at someone. When he wouldn't respond to me, Ibra helped him to his feet and helped him walk to the clinic. Yehaya makes sure that no one gets close to him. I don't think he has any friends, only boys that tolerate him. Because he is the smallest, he gets picked on a lot, especially since he flips out. The boys think it is funny when he goes into one of his rages(imagine a Tasmanian devil) and many of them will pick on him just so he will flip out. Ibra was so sweet with him and really paying attention to him and making sure he got to the clinic ok. Yehaya is afraid of needles so Ibra sat with him and reassured him and helped him to take his medicine. Even when Yehaya got sick and threw up everywhere, Ibra didn't leave his side. It soon became obvious that the lady at the clinic couldn't help him and we needed to go to the hospital. So an uncle carried him there but Ibra and I were left to tend to him. Since he couldn't walk, Ibra carried him to the lab and to the room, and held him while they were taking his blood. The doctor wanted him to stay over night and I feared he would wake up in the night and try and run. Ibra offered to spend the night in the hospital with him and make sure he was fine. When another boy Matthew found out Yehaya was in hospital, he insisted in staying with him also. I was so proud of them, especially Ibra. He was the boy that day that I know he can be. I wish I saw it more often.
The next day, Saturday, we had planned an outing for the leaders and decided to rent a taxi and take some of the boys with us. We were going to a musical at an international school here. We got Yehaya out of the hospital in time, and so he, Ibra, and Matthew were the first boys chosen. When we got to the church, the uncle had told many boys to go and bathe so they would be ready to go. I wanted John to go, because he is one of my favorites, but sometimes he can be a bit stubborn with the uncles and other boys. Since the uncle knows how much I love him, he told him to get ready and we went with him and 9 other boys. John doesn't really show any emotion to anything and always acts like he is too cool for everything. During the play, both him and Ibra, were on the edges of their seats, so involved and paying so much attention. Regardless of how he acts, he is still just a kid, and it is moments like these that let them forget having to survive the streets and be tough so no one takes advantage of them and just be kids. It was a beautiful thing to see.
On the way back to Kivulu, Richard got really sick. That is where my other post picked up. But again, Ibra was the first to volunteer to stay at the clinic. In a different environment, that kid would be so different. The other day, he told me he wanted to be a doctor. It isn't impossible, but it is going to be difficult for him to make it, which is sad. He would be a great doctor...
God is working in these boys' lives, even if they don't know it or realize it. I pray that He continues to and gives them the strength and courage to do the right thing and make good choices. I hope you will pray for them also.
**If you are interested in supporting me and my mission/work here (everything helps!) you can give online at www.globaltrainingnetwork.org and all donations are tax-deductible, just go to the support tab and preference my ministry.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Love
Richard. I don't know when he captured my heart but it is definitely his. He smiles and could ask me for the moon and I would definitely tell him, "ok I will get it for you." He tells me he loves me and I melt and cannot imagine loving anyone more than I love him...
But then there is Emmanuel John and I love him just as much. He looks at me with his mischievous smile whenever I catch him doing something he shouldn't, and it is difficult to be mad. Every time I see him with food, he offers to share and entrusts me with the responsibility of keeping his money. He isn't as affectionate but his small gestures say it all to me. He came from so far away and I wonder how he made it. I wonder how they all made it....
I cannot forget about Ibra. Dr. Ibra. He has his issues and sometimes frustrates me SOOO much, but I love him all the same. He has been sick the last few days. His toe is very infected, so I have been taking him to the clinic. The time together has only endeared him to me even more.
Gabriel. Temperamental Gabriel. He is making such better choices for himself but still isn't there yet, he will be though. He can be the sweetest kid. On several occasions, he will do the dishes after eating without being asked. He wants to help and takes joy in it.
There is Derrick. Such a cute kid. Very reserved and difficult to connect with but once you do, you see his funny side and he just makes you laugh. He was given a new pair of tennis shoes a few sundays ago. Instead of selling them like most of the kids would, he washes them almost daily and at times even walks barefoot just so he won't ruin them.
There is also..
Simon, the little ninja always dressed in camo.
Tom, the crazy kid that tells me to be steady and karate chops everything.
Peter, the boy that is so smart and knows the Bible so well.
Dunkan, the boy that willingly cuts bunches of onions and jokes around so much.
Wasswa, the most talkative and mischievous boy you will ever meet but with the biggest smile you can hardly shout at him and will share his food with the little puppies around.
Nathan, so quiet you almost forget he is there but you can't because he is so sweet.
Michael, so smart and well behaved and always wanting to participate in class/devotions/whenever.
Kasime, his smile could definitely kill you and he loves joking around with me so much, telling me he will beat me (he never would) and laughs hysterically if I chase him trying to beat him.
Ronald, the boy that I am sure has no idea how much I love him. He is too busy being tough and acting grown up to notice, but then he has moments where he takes joy in being a kid or comes out of nowhere to say hi and I think he knows.
Mukasa, always wanting to take me to get a boda or play around.
So many kids. All that I love so much. All so different. All with a story. All on the street.
My boda driver told me the other day, "Wow, those kids really love you! They never want you to leave." I told him I felt the same and we spent the rest of the ride home talking about all of the boys. But it made me think. How did I get to be so lucky to have so many amazing kids love me? I am not sure but I know I am one of the luckiest people in the world because of it...
**If you are interested in supporting me and my work here (everything helps!) you can give online at www.globaltrainingnetwork.org. All donations are tax-deductible, just go to the support tab and preference my ministry.
But then there is Emmanuel John and I love him just as much. He looks at me with his mischievous smile whenever I catch him doing something he shouldn't, and it is difficult to be mad. Every time I see him with food, he offers to share and entrusts me with the responsibility of keeping his money. He isn't as affectionate but his small gestures say it all to me. He came from so far away and I wonder how he made it. I wonder how they all made it....
I cannot forget about Ibra. Dr. Ibra. He has his issues and sometimes frustrates me SOOO much, but I love him all the same. He has been sick the last few days. His toe is very infected, so I have been taking him to the clinic. The time together has only endeared him to me even more.
Gabriel. Temperamental Gabriel. He is making such better choices for himself but still isn't there yet, he will be though. He can be the sweetest kid. On several occasions, he will do the dishes after eating without being asked. He wants to help and takes joy in it.
There is Derrick. Such a cute kid. Very reserved and difficult to connect with but once you do, you see his funny side and he just makes you laugh. He was given a new pair of tennis shoes a few sundays ago. Instead of selling them like most of the kids would, he washes them almost daily and at times even walks barefoot just so he won't ruin them.
There is also..
Simon, the little ninja always dressed in camo.
Tom, the crazy kid that tells me to be steady and karate chops everything.
Peter, the boy that is so smart and knows the Bible so well.
Dunkan, the boy that willingly cuts bunches of onions and jokes around so much.
Wasswa, the most talkative and mischievous boy you will ever meet but with the biggest smile you can hardly shout at him and will share his food with the little puppies around.
Nathan, so quiet you almost forget he is there but you can't because he is so sweet.
Michael, so smart and well behaved and always wanting to participate in class/devotions/whenever.
Kasime, his smile could definitely kill you and he loves joking around with me so much, telling me he will beat me (he never would) and laughs hysterically if I chase him trying to beat him.
Ronald, the boy that I am sure has no idea how much I love him. He is too busy being tough and acting grown up to notice, but then he has moments where he takes joy in being a kid or comes out of nowhere to say hi and I think he knows.
Mukasa, always wanting to take me to get a boda or play around.
So many kids. All that I love so much. All so different. All with a story. All on the street.
My boda driver told me the other day, "Wow, those kids really love you! They never want you to leave." I told him I felt the same and we spent the rest of the ride home talking about all of the boys. But it made me think. How did I get to be so lucky to have so many amazing kids love me? I am not sure but I know I am one of the luckiest people in the world because of it...
**If you are interested in supporting me and my work here (everything helps!) you can give online at www.globaltrainingnetwork.org. All donations are tax-deductible, just go to the support tab and preference my ministry.
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