Once more I realized this week that God doesn't need me for this work but I was lucky enough to be chosen. I always say I didn't choose the boys, God did. The safety and peace of mind provided by that statement is unbelievable. It gives me comfort to know that he will always take care of them. It gives me peace knowing the boys are difficult and have issues, but He will watch over them, change their hearts and convict them of their sins. It reminds me that all God has asked me to do is love them like He loves me and He will do the rest.
We have added 3 boys since the beginning of May. If you remember, 2 were added because Ronald begged me. I agreed without seeing pictures of either. I took the kids' and uncles' word that they were good kids and did in fact deserve a chance.
I knew I knew the boys but couldn't see their faces. I am terrible at remembering names, but knew I knew the names just not with a face. I asked for pictures so I could see our newest family members and was sent one of John.
When I asked what happened to the photo of David, I was told the other boys accidentally erased it and he didn't realize until he was at the internet cafe. I kept asking for the photo and then he told me he lost the cable for his camera. I finally got the picture last week.
Before I continue with my story I want to say that I love all of the boys on the street. I think that everyone of them deserves a family and a home with people that love them. I don't blame them for their bad behaviors and habits and think it is just the result of growing up on the streets and being neglected and abused. The longer they are on the streets, the more difficulties they have. I don't hold that against them. But sometimes...
There are kids that really get to me and not in a good way. As soon as I saw the photo and realized who it was, I was angry. David was one of those boys. He had been on the streets for a long time and had lots of bad habits and was always rude and disrespectful to me.
I have spent the last week kind of annoyed and wondering what to do. He has been with us for too long to send him away. The uncle says he is doing well. When I talk to him he is kind and respectful. He listens and is grateful for his chance. So sending him away isn't really an option. I couldn't. I wouldn't. But how can this boy be in the house? The boy that was so rude to me before...
I'll tell you how.
God chose him.
It is amazing how God worked to give David a chance. He knew David belonged with us and kept his identity a secret from me because He knew I would say no. Even if God insisted I would have said no. He knew I wouldn't listen to Him, so He made it so I didn't have a choice. He used Ronald to convince me knowing I wouldn't tell Ronald no. He hid David's picture from me until He knew it was safe and I wouldn't send him away.
I am no longer angry that David is home with us. He deserved a chance and God made it happen. God worked for David despite my unwillingness. He saw something in David I refused to see. He saw that David was redeemable, even though I didn't.
It is amazing how God works for these kids. He has a plan for each one of them, even the hardest and most difficult. Because God brought David to us, I can rest in knowing that things will be fine, that there is no problem that we can't overcome, that He is the one in control and His will will be done despite what I want.
Sometimes we have to get out of our own way, out of God's way, so incredibly amazing things can happen.