To make Him known

This post is a little late but better late than never.

Easter.

It was by far the best day that I have ever had in Uganda.  I saw what all of the struggles, the fighting, the difficulties were for and felt absolute, pure joy.

Our church decided that there was no better way to celebrate Jesus rising from the dead than with a baptism.  Who could disagree with that???

On our way home from church on Easter, two of the boys asked if we were going to the baptism because they wanted to be baptized! 

Thank you Jesus! 

When we got home and told some of the other boys were we were going, 2 others said they were ready and wanted to take that step also. 

Thank you Jesus!

So we celebrated Easter by praising and worshiping the Risen King and watching 4 of our boys give their lives to  Jesus.  The pure joy I felt that day was amazing.  This is what it is all for and made every single struggle worth it.  As I stood praising God for His goodness, faithfulness and bringing these boys into my life, I felt Him say to me, "This is what you are doing here.  I died for you.  I brought you here.  I brought you these boys.  Can't you manage anything for another moment like this?  Isn't it all worth it to make Me known?"

"Yes, yes it is."

Me and Dunkan  He is one of the boys that got baptized

me and Sylvester  He made the choice also

Getting set up for worship.  The church rented the swimming pool at Makerere University

me and John

Ronald being baptized

Dunkan

Sylvester getting ready

David

Happy Easter friends!  He is risen today, tomorrow and always!

Summertime is quickly approaching

With summer quickly approaching, the time of mission trips and summer camps are going to be here before we know it.  Maybe your little league team needs new uniforms or your kid's band class is taking a trip somewhere to perform.  Whatever the need, we can help you raise the support that you need. 

Our paper bead jewelry helps us to feed our boys, while giving a woman in the slums a fair wage for her work.  We are offering the chance to use our jewelry as a way to fund raise for whatever event you may have.  We are reducing the price of our long multicolor necklaces to just $8 a piece when you order 50-99 necklaces.  You can then sell each necklace for between $15-20.  If you order 100-150, we will reduce to $7.50 a piece and if you order over 150, we will reduce to $7 a piece. 

 

Or you can order coil bracelets, which are one of our best sellers.  Everyone LOVES them!!  If you order 50-99,  we will reduce the price to $6.50 per piece and you can sell them for $10-12 each.  If you order 100-149 we will reduce to $6 per bracelet.  If you order more than 150, we will reduce to $5.50 a piece.

 You can also order earrings.  If you order between 50-99 pairs, we will reduce the price to $3.50 a pair and you can sell them for $5-8.  If you order more than 100 pairs, we will reduce to $3 a pair.

Want a mix of the different jewelry?  No problem.  Just use the price for the pieces you order even if it is a mix.  For example, if you order 25 necklaces and 25 bracelets, the necklaces are $8 and the bracelets are $6.50.  Are you interested?  Email Amanda at lot2545@gmail.com for more info and to place an order. 

These are some of the faces you will be helping by choosing the jewelry as a way to support your cause.

The lessons of Malaria

As I mentioned in my last post, things have gotten worse around here lately.  Having my things stolen is one way to really get me and make me hate Uganda, but the other is my health.  It is exhausting being sick here.  Monday morning I woke up to wake the boys up for school and was fine.  I was awake for maybe 30 minutes and then all of a sudden, like someone flipped a switch, I was dying.  My whole body hurt, I felt like I was 500 years old as all of my joints hurt and I had no energy, and my head was exploding with the worst headache I have ever felt.  I knew immediately that it was malaria.

So I mustered up all of the energy I could to walk to the clinic.  Sure enough, they tested my blood and it wasn't just malaria but severe malaria.  They gave me an injection and told me to come back 2 more times for more and then I would have to take pills.  Yesterday goes on the list of worst days of my life.  I felt like I was dying all day and was waiting for my head to explode at any moment.  It was excruciating and torture.  I have never been in more pain in my life.  It left me to contemplate why no one has figured out how to eradicate malaria here.  They did it in the US, why not here?  I never understood how bad it really was until I had it.  Even as I type this, I have a slight headache and no energy.  There is no reason, on this earth, for there to still be malaria.  It has to be a terrible way to die and so many people die from it every year.  It is senseless and ridiculous.  Yesterday was torture.  I can't imagine having to continue with life as normal when you have it.  At least I was able to stay in bed and do nothing.  Most Ugandans still have to work, take care of kids, cook, etc.  There is no day off for them.  I don't know they manage.  Laying down was even too much work for me.

Anyway, once again in the midst of my torture God showed up.  There's a certain boy that I have a really long history with.  He knows I love him but he always tests me.  This usually ends up in epic battles that leave us arguing for a long time.  He knows I would do anything for him but somehow he doesn't always believe it.  He has been disappointed too many times and probably thinks I will do the same.  I reassure and reassure him, but it is never enough. 

When I got home from the clinic, he came into my room to check on me.  When he saw that I wasn't doing so good, he sat on the floor and held my hand as I tried to sleep.  He was so cute and sympathetic.  He put his head on my bed and just sat there for a long time.  When he finally spoke, he was so worried about me and I think he thought I was going to die and leave him. 

The speech that came next, could have been a death bed speech.  It was worthy of an Oscar and could have been in any Hollywood movie, but I meant every word and thanks be to Jesus that I live another day and it is really going to come true.  He was worried that since I was so sick, I was never going to recover and there would be no one to take care of him or the other boys or fight for them.  I told him that I loved him more than anything and would do anything for him.  I promised him that God wouldn't take me away from him because it was God that brought us together.  I told him that God knew how much we needed each other, so He couldn't separate us now.  I told him that everything would be fine and I will always fight for him no matter what.  Even if I don't have the strength, I knew God will give me His.  I told him that he was going to have a great life and that I was sorry that life has sucked so far for him, so much so that he can't believe it will be different now.  But I promised him it would.  I told him that I knew he was going to grow up and be a great lawyer that fights against injustice and stands up for people that are persecuted.  I told him that I knew he was going to find a girl that makes him so happy and he would be a great father and I would love his kids just like I love him because they are his.  I told him that we would sit around the dinner table when I am 80, laughing and telling his kids stories about how he used to drive me crazy.  He laughed at the thought and maybe he started to believe it.

He isn't usually a mushy kid.  I know he loves me, but he isn't one to show it so much.  But yesterday, he was vulnerable.  He showed me his fear and his worries.  I worry the same thing too.  If something happens to me, what will happen to these kids?  I've been here for him for almost 3 years now.  The one constant in his life.  The same for the others.  And the thought of losing me was too much.  It sent his world crashing down on him.  Today I am better and out of bed and we are all happy again.  But the memory of yesterday is still with us.  It is difficult for these kids to believe that they have a future.  Life hasn't worked out at all for them up to this point and they all believe that I will just be one more person that leaves.  All of the promises in the world aren't enough to make them see the future I see.  But one day, the future will be here and I will still be with them and they will see that I kept all of my promises.

There's always hope

I think something big is about to happen over here.  It seems that left and right bad things are happening.  That could only mean that someone is trying to break me and make me give up.   Things haven't been super easy around here lately but someone is stepping up their game and trying to get me where he knows it will hurt.  Jokes on him though because God is bigger and always uses even the worst to bring Him glory.

There is one boy in particular that lately I have been feeling like maybe there is no hope.  It is one bad choice and heart break after another lately with him.  I have been feeling like maybe it is too late and too many bad things have happened and all of the love in the world can't fix him.  Every day is like an epic battle to do even the smallest things.  It is just bad and I am at a loss as to what more to do for him.

Saturday, when I was on my way to a women's group for church my wallet and phone were stolen in the taxi.  The conductor distracted me by making the door open while the man next to me got in my purse.  I didn't realize what happened until I was out of the taxi and by then it was too late to get the plate number or do anything.  I went back home trying not to be angry. 

I was walking with one of the boys to get the taxi and on the way I was explaining why a lady that we know needed to be back in the US for a while.  I was trying to make him understand that while there were people here that she loved and would miss a lot, she still needed to be back in a place where she could simply live life and fit in.  I told him that it is exhausting living in a culture that isn't your own and everyone always paying attention to you and wanting something from you.  Even me, when I am done with Uganda and feel like I need out, it is because of the constant pressure and asking for help and being taken advantage of.  There comes a time when it is too much and I just want to live life where people won't notice me or expect anything of me.

So when my wallet and phone were stolen, I was really sad and trying hard not to hate life and be bitter.  When I got home, the boys were just as angry as me and one of them went to the police to file a report.   But the police don't work for justice here, they work for who can pay the most and seeing as how my wallet was stolen, there was no money to pay.  I felt like I was robbed all over again.

Saturday night, I was sitting in my room and 2 boys came in, the one that I mentioned before and another one.   I saw hope that I haven't seen in a long time.  I saw God working His magic and making a bad situation good.  He knew that I was sad about my things being stolen so he used his own money to buy me cake and soda. 

It seems simple, but I haven't seen that boy in a really long time.  The boy that I fell in love with and wanted to give up everything so he could have a future.  We have struggled so much lately.  So much.  But in a bad situation, I saw hope.  I saw the boy that I knew, that I have been missing.  I was reminded once again of why I chose him and that everything will be fine.   God is so good.  Even when I feel like all is lost and things are never going to get better, He shows up and proves me wrong.

God is good, all the time.
All the time, God is good.

Difficult lessons

Tom and Moses after church

This is a continuation of my post yesterday, if you didn’t read it go back here and take a second to read it.  I gave a lot of background info about Uganda that will help you to understand everything that is happening.

Sunday started off like every other Sunday and everything was fine until I was waiting to get my coffee.  Usually when I am getting my coffee, the boys wander around the mall to see the huge koi fish in a pond in the parking garage or ride the elevator.  So when one of the boys came to get me and told me that the security guards took one of the boys and one of their friends, I really thought that he was joking.  It wasn’t until I was standing outside of the security office and saw all of the other boys standing around that I knew it was serious.

When I reached the security office, the very first thing that I saw was a really big man, at least 6 feet tall and 200 pounds, walking across the 2 boys’ legs and then backhanding my boy.  To say that I lost it would be the understatement of the century.  A fire and rage came over me like I have never experienced.  I didn’t know I could be so angry.  I just started screaming at him and didn’t stop.  I can’t even tell you what I said.  I was so angry I was shaking and it was like I was possessed.  Words just kept coming.  I just know I kept shouting and demanding that they give me back my children.  There were 3 men in the room at the time, the two boys and me.  Everyone else was standing at the door outside.  Our uncle just happened to be there at the same time and saw it all.  When he tried to enter the office, the man just pushed him back out. He’s always calm and quiet and probably preferring to let me be the crazy one, he just walked back out. 

I wasn’t about to be quieted until I got the boys back, so I entered the office and just started screaming.  It was like I was on fire.  I remember the one that stepped on the boys doing all of the talking, when I stopped screaming long enough for him to say a word that is.  I don’t think anyone expected it from me.  Even me, I didn’t think I could be so demanding and absolutely out of control.  At that moment, I didn’t care that I was shouting and people were stopped and staring.  I was furious that that man had not only stepped on the boys, but also slapped the one so hard and refused to let them go.  Had he not stepped on them or hit the one, I probably could have kept my crazy hidden, talked things out like a reasonable adult, and we would have been on our way.  But something about seeing a grown man step and hit a boy that I love more than anything, made me completely lose it.  It made me lose all rational thinking.  It is actually a wonder that that man didn’t hit me.  I was totally challenging his authority as a man and not backing down.  A woman definitely is not supposed to shout at a man and demand him anything.  And there I was, breaking all of the rules and in front of an audience of about 30 people by then to boot.  It is a wonder he didn’t hit me just to prove that he was a man.  Thank God he didn’t because it wouldn’t have been just a crazy lady screaming, but her crazy children trying to kill a man for hitting her.

He tried to justify his actions and say the boys had bad manners, but I just kept screaming.  He was upset because the boys were playing around and it seemed that they were fighting.  I tried to explain to him that they were kids and made a mistake and chose the wrong place to play.  He didn’t care.  He wanted to cane them and there was no way that I was letting that happen.  Things didn’t calm down until another man came into the room.  Thankfully, he wasn’t a complete jerkface or at least realized that I wasn’t going to stop screaming until he let the kids go.  By this time, so many people had gathered around to watch the crazy lady screaming.  By the end, the new man actually apologized to me and let the boys go.

The Koi fish we always have to make sure is around

My boy was so hurt and upset, his eyes were bloodshot and he had a cut on his lip.  The other boy was so terrified, he couldn’t go and find his aunt without me.  I sent the boys on their way home, as I went to do an errand.  When I got home, I found the one and asked if he was ok.  He said not yet, but he would be.  I told him that I was sorry that happened to him.  He told me that he learned something from it.  I asked if it was that those men had bad manners and abused their powers.  He told me yes, but also that it isn’t an option anymore for him but he must study to be a lawyer.  I told him that was so good because the world needed someone like him to stand up for people and fight against things like that.

What he said next completely shocked me.  I was actually feeling badly because if I had gotten there 20 seconds sooner that man wouldn’t have touched them, or if I had been paying attention and not getting coffee, they would have never been taken.  But he said, “thank you.”  I asked him for what and he said for fighting for them.  I responded by saying that I loved him more than anything, would do anything for him and I will always fight for him.

Vincent at the mall

I didn’t have to think twice.  When I saw that man step on them, I was already asking what is going on.  When he hit him, I lost it.  While maybe someone else might not have turned into a Tasmanian Devil like me, I think most people’s reactions would have been outrage also.  But for him, my reaction was strange and unexpected.  I don’t think he has ever had anyone fight for him, probably none of them have.  I am sorry that I lost my temper and went crazy, its not becoming on anyone, but I am not sorry that they all saw how far I would go to defend them.  They needed to see that.  They needed to know.  We have been talking a lot about family lately and how blood doesn’t make family.  Love and understanding makes family.  This boy in particular has really struggled lately.  We were actually in world war 3 for the last week or so and finally just made up on Saturday.  He questions and tests my love for him constantly.  He can’t believe or accept, that when I tell him I love him that it is true.  He can’t let go of his hurt and anger over losing his mom.  I just reassured him on Saturday that while I wasn’t his mom I loved him more than anything and would do absolutely anything for him.  Sunday he got to see that in action.  I see so much potential in him but he can’t stay focused in school, but maybe now he realizes what is at stake.

He actually learned two lessons yesterday:  that the world needs him as a lawyer and he is committed to that and that I will protect him no matter what.  It is terrible that it took a bully to prove those things to him, but now he knows.  Now they all do.

Background info

As I type, I am sitting at a guest house in Rwanda listening to a huge rain downpour.  I had to renew my visa, so what better excuse to visit a really beautiful country that is completely opposite to Uganda.  Rwanda gives me hope for Uganda.  The roads are paved.  Things are orderly.  Things are clean.  People drive normally.  There are traffic lights that people obey.  Maybe Uganda will jump on those bandwagons????  A girl can dream…

Anyway, this is the first part of a two part post.  I was typing out the whole post earlier and realized it was getting really long, so I am going to give you all of the background info you will need to understand tomorrow's post.

First up, we basically do the same thing every Sunday.   I go to church in the city with about 10-12 boys. We finally found a home church right before Christmas.  It has been a huge relief and blessing.  I get so tired of the local churches and the rubbish that is Wealth Prosperity Gospel that they preach.  Our church is in a mall in Kampala at the movie theater.  Very weird, I know.  But we love it.  Kampala is a church plant and the main campus is in the UK.  They send the preaches to each of the different campuses and we watch them a week behind the church in the UK. 

Our favorite Koi at the mall

Our Sunday schedule is as follows:  Wake up early so we can take the 30 minute taxi ride to town, and then walk the 40 minutes from the taxi park to the mall.  We barely make it in time for the start of church because wrangling 11 boys to leave the house is not an easy chore.  It usually ends with me frustrated and shouting bye as I walk out of the gate and the boys chasing after me 2 minutes later.  After church, we go to the huge chain supermarket’s bakery to get a snack.  Then I get my weekly treat of super delicious coffee (Only time this coffee addict gets the stuff.  Ugandans are tea drinkers and I have no choice in the matter, so I am becoming one also.) and we leave to walk back to the taxi park.  And that is our Sunday.

The pond we have to see every week

A bit about the mall,  it  is a really spiffy place.  I don’t know who actually shops there because it is insanely expensive and I am pretty sure that you can find the same things on the streets of Kampala for 1/20 of the price.  But it is the place many white people and wealthy Ugandans go.  They expect everything to be perfectly in order there.  I think if you breathe wrong, people will look at you funny. 

Next up, child raising in Uganda.  The biggest and most difficult thing to deal with is
children are to be seen and not heard in Uganda.  There is no playing.  There is no talking loudly.  There is no having an opinion.  There is no being a kid.  Kids in Uganda blindly do what they are told and if they choose to disobey or question authority, there are serious consequences, i.e. beatings and canings or worse.  Offences can be anything from not sitting properly or spilling something to crying, or something more serious like stealing.  Talking and advising does not exist.  There is no patience or grace or forgiveness.  There is only do what you are told and expected or get beaten.  I have been told on several occasions that I don't know how to raise African children simply because I am not tough enough on them.  I refuse to send them away or chase them from the home for the simplest of mistakes.  Instead I prefer to try to love them enough each day that they can believe there is good in this world.  Not to mention the only way to heal is to be filled with love, but I have been told I am wrong because I believe in the power of love, compassion and forgiveness. Unconditional love does not exist in Uganda.  There is no loving someone simply because you do.  It is all behavior based or about what the other person can do for you.  And no one gets how I can still completely love these boys, even when they are breaking my heart over and over.  The worst thing is anyone believes that they can beat anyone's children, at any time, for any grievance that they feel they have.

The dinosaur statues that we love to pose with at the mall

And lastly, how women are treated.  Just like children, for the most part women are to be seen and not heard.  They are treated like they are only good for making babies, cleaning the house and cooking food. Their opinions are disregarded.  Obscene things are said to them.  Why even just yesterday, a man completely serious, offered the boys a gun to leave me with him.  Men feel they can treat women however and if a wife doesn't do exactly what her husband wants, then it is perfectly ok for him to beat her.  It is ok for a man to have many girlfriends and a wife.  Women are just objects to be used, not appreciated or cherished.  They should do what they are told, and that is it.  And I don't fit into any of those boxes.  When I know I am right, I don't fear to voice my opinion and make sure everyone knows.  I refuse to play these games of respecting a man when he can't respect me, especially when I know he is in the wrong.  If you are wrong, I don't care who you are, I am going to tell you.  Most days that doesn't go over so well, but I stand my ground, especially with matters concerning the boys.

Make sure you come back tomorrow for the exciting part of the story!

Growing up

Somehow in my mind, these boys never age.  They are still the cutie pie little babies I met on the street.  (Don't tell them I said that!  They scream every time I call them babies!!!)  Ok, they were never babies since I have known them, but they were considerably smaller. 

Recently, it has been like I have woken up from a really long nap and seen them for the first time in years and I don't like it.  The other night, one of the boys was standing in my room asking for something and as I was looking at him, it was like I hadn't been seeing him for the last 7 months.  I suddenly realized he was growing up and definitely was not the small boy I picked from the streets 3 years ago!  He had muscles and lost all of his baby fat.  He was taller than I remembered and doesn't look like a kid anymore.  UGH!!!  What happened???

Anyone know how to keep their kids from growing up????

Yesterday at church, I was looking at a guy that was sitting next to one of the boys but his head was down.  I was wondering who it was and then realized it was one of the boys.  He was dressed really nicely, dress pants and a button down shirt, and as he got up to tell the church all of the ways he was thankful to God, I wondered what happened to him.  He was suddenly much taller and way more grown up than I remembered.  I almost started crying in church.

I realized that the time I have left with some of these boys is so short.  Soon, they will want to start life on their own and will move out.  One boy already has, but I wonder what will happen when they all do.  That is the goal, to have them all out in the world on their own, but the reality of it has been setting in.  Quickly! 

When we got home from church, I told him that he looked so grown up and what happened to my little baby.  He laughed and said he wasn't a baby but he would always be mine. 

Heart officially melted.

I worry about if these boys are learning enough and are going to be ready to enter the real world.  When the same boy got up at church to thank God, I was a little worried because it didn't sound like thanksgivings.  But as he continued to talk, I think I beamed with pride.  He has grown up and changed so much.  We still have a ways to go, but I know if he had to leave home tomorrow, I know he would be fine.  They will all be fine.

At church he told how he had to go back to his village because his grandmother was sick.  He told how he found out that he had lost 2 people while he has been gone, his uncle and his other grandparent.  He said he couldn't cry though because he wasn't sad.  He said that they believed in God and he knew that they were in a better place now, where they weren't suffering anymore.  He said that he knew that they were now happy, so he was happy.  He also cautioned the whole church that while we were all in the city enjoying life, our family in the village might be suffering and we should take the time to visit before it was too late.  

Maybe growing up isn't so bad after all...