Wicked step-mother

This was the kitten that was brought home about a week ago. I named him muzungu which is what you call a white person.  I thought it was super funny that I would be shouting muzungu all the time because of the cat and that was why I chose the name.

When I left for Jinja on Friday, muzungu was home.  When I got back on Sunday, he was gone.  I don't know where he went or why he left.  I was asking one of the boys what he did with Muzungu and he told me, "Now Muzungu has a step-mother, so he ran back to the streets."

Let me explain why this is so funny.  He was found on the streets by the market.  He was abandoned by his mother or at least she was no where around.  He was brought home to me, the step-mother.  Many of the boys have run away from their homes because their step-mothers were very mean to them.  Muzungu has now run away from home.  I was his step-mother...

Whose are they?

I have been thinking of writing this post for many days now but I am still not sure if I have found the right words.  But here goes...

We are all so quick to put labels on things as to whom they belong.  I think it is normal.  We say this or that is ours or theirs or whoever's.  Today alone, I probably claimed something as being mine at least 5 times.  But when it comes to these boys, the boys that I love so incredibly much, the boys I would do anything for just to make sure they are happy and cared for, I struggle with saying they are mine. 
 
I love them so much it hurts sometimes.  I would give anything for them to be safe without thinking twice.  I love them just as much as people love their biological children.  When they are sad, my heart breaks.  When they are happy, I feel like everything is right in the world.  At the end of each day, I cannot imagine loving anyone more, until the next day when I fall even more in love with them. 

But I know they do not belong to me.  They are God's, not mine.

The amazing thing here is that God doesn't need me to do this work.  He is mighty and able and could do it on His own.  They are His children and He is more than able to care for them.  But each day, I get to be a part of His work, with these 8 kids that are so incredibly amazing.

People frequently ask me how I chose the boys for the home and I tell them I just knew.  The truth is,I didn't choose them, God did.  He opened my eyes to what He saw when he looked at the boys.  He didn't see a boy with a drug problem or a boy that liked to gamble and fight or a thief.  He saw His precious children, hurting and broken, patiently waiting on Him.  He saw a boy with an incredibly soft heart.  He saw a boy that covered up his pain with a tough exterior.  He saw children the world had thrown away, but were still so eager to praise Him for His goodness.

Thankfully, that is what He let me see also.  Every day, I am so grateful God decided to use me for His work here with these boys.  I am so grateful that of all of the people in the world He could have used, he chose me.  The other night the boys were giving testimonies.  One boy said that he drank too much and did too many drugs, but God knew he could be somebody and sent him me who knew he could be somebody.  Another boy, said how when I chose him, he was still a thug but I still gave him a chance.  I of course knew those things.  I paid to get the one out of prison, the other I saw drunk many times.  But it never mattered to me.  I loved them regardless and knew God had called me to them.

I am so undeserving to have these kids love me. Their love has made my life complete.  Their love has taught me what true love is. Their love has given me a home and a family that I have longed for for almost 13 years.  Their love has changed my life forever.  God knew my heart and knew that I needed these boys more than they needed me.  And so He called me to move across the world, to love His children, just like He loves me.

I know nothing about parenting, especially to 14 and 15 year old boys that have lived on the streets for years and are so broken, hurting and traumatized, anything can trigger them.  I worry about things any parent worries about plus some.  I fear if I love them too much, they will get scared and run because they don't know how to be loved because no one ever has.  I fear if I don't love them enough, they will run because they think I don't care.  I worry about people hurting them when I know they can't take any more pain or loss.  I fear that I will lose them or they will never change.  I worry about doing and saying the wrong thing, overreacting to a small situation, not having enough patience, failing them in some way, not being able to provide for them, the list goes on.  But then I remember...

God gave me the wonderful gift of having these boys in my life.  AND IT IS A GIFT!  A gift I wouldn't exchange for anything.  He started this work and I know He will finish it.  He loves these boys and brought us together for a purpose.  I realize that I cannot do any of this on my own.  It is only through God and His mercy, that I have any chance.

Although He has given me this gift, one day, I know He will take it back because they are His children, not mine.  In the meantime, I give Him thanks, for entrusting me with 8 of His most precious treasures.  I pray that I will never forget or take for granted how truly special and perfect they really are.  And I pray that I will always mirror the love to them that God has shown me.

Do they look happy?

Joel is behind.  l-r Richard, Ronald, John

Ronald

Richard

John, me, Ronald

l to r:  Julius, John, Joel, Ronald

Richard

Julius

 

 

Every day, I fall more in love with these kids than I think is possible.  Every day, I thank God for bringing them into my life.  I don't know how I got so lucky, but I know that I am.

The boys got their school uniforms yesterday and saw their new home for the first time.  They are still doing some repairs to the house and there is dust and paint everywhere.  I was afraid the boys would be disappointed, not like the house, or not want to be there.  Of course my fears were quickly put to rest when they started screaming and running around the house like crazy people!  Mind you, the house is very small and you can see the whole thing from the sitting room.  You don't have far to run!  But the boys loved it and asked a million times when they would get to move in.  They were ready to move in with it still being a mess! 

Today, a friend is taking them to get school shoes from the market and then they get the work of cleaning the house.  You would think they would mind, but not at all!  Even when I told them we would have to scrub the walls, they said ok!  I really do think I am the luckiest person alive!

Yesterday was such an amazing day.  I want to remember every second of it forever.  It started with taking the boys to the pool.  It is always such a joy to see the kids let loose and be kids again.  It doesn't happen very often, but I treasure the moments it does.  So to see the kids playing and smiling and having fun, would have been enough for the day.  I would have felt like the day was complete.

But it wasn't....

I have been looking for a house to move into here and it has been really difficult.  The ones that were a good size were too expensive or they wanted too much money up front.  The other ones were too small or not in good condition.  Finally, we found one and I got to seeit yesterday.  I was so excited I decided to tell the boys right away.  They were so excited and so thankful.  I don't think I will ever forget their smiles...

The best part, they weren't thanking me first.  They realized that it wasn't my doing that had provided for them.  It wasn't me that heard their cries and prayers.  It was God.  And they thanked Him and gave Him the glory.  It was an amazing thing to witness.  They each stood up to say thanks.  Ronald, a boy that doesn't talk so much, said the most beautiful things.  It was just another reminder of how incredibly amazing these kids are.

Today began the days of the hard work ahead.  Raising teenagers isn't easy and it especially isn't easy when you have 8 and they have all been on the streets running their own lives for the past few years.  I thought and prayed this morning that I hoped I would always remember the days like yesterday when the days ahead became difficult.  I pray that I remember the smiles and the looks on their faces when I told them we were moving, when my heart is breaking and I don't know what else to do.   I pray that I never take for granted the good times and they sustain me in the bad.  God has His plan for me and these boys and where ever He takes us, I know He will keep us.


God bless! 

Welcome home!

Good news!!!


 I made it back to Uganda safely and with all of my bags, that a miracle in itself!!! With the snow starting to come down in Chicago, I got worried I was never going to get to leave! My plane was first delayed an hour, which turned into almost 2 and a half. Thankfully my layover in Amsterdam was long enough that neither of the other 2 flights were effected.
 
When I finally got into the airport in Uganda, I saw 8 of the most amazing kids ever waiting to greet me. Edwin, one of the boys from the street programs, came running up to me immediately to say hello and help me with my bags. The other boys soon followed and it was the best welcome home ever.
 
It feels so good to be back in Uganda, with the kids I love so much so close. But there is still a lot to do. I only have until the end of this month to move them into a different house, so I still need everyone’s help to help make that happen. If you haven't yet, check out the campaign on Indie GoGo and give whatever you can and continue sharing it with everyone you know and encourage them to give also.

Thanks for the support! New pictures coming soon!

Ugandan Sunshine: Disposible Children

I am sharing this post that a friend I work with in Uganda wrote. She has expressed so well, what I feel many days but don't know how to say. I hope you will take the time to read this post and some of her others. She is a wonderful writer and honestly shares about her thoughts and experiences in Uganda.

Ugandan Sunshine: Disposible Children: I am reading a book right now on the child soldiers in Uganda during the war with the LRA. At one point, the young man writing it expresses ...

10 days!!!!

Ten days from today, I will be boarding an airplane back to Uganda.  I will be on my way to see the kids that I love so much, to see my precious puppy (ok not really puppy, but still precious), my ill mannered cat, and very dear friends.  I CAN'T WAIT!!!!

This time home has been rough.  Much more difficult than I expected it to be.  Things are different now and I don't always get what is going on here.  I know I wasn't in Uganda for that long, but it has definitely changed my world view. 

I think one of the toughest things that I have had to deal with is wanting to be back in Uganda and not being able to be.  I have been impatient and at times running in circles trying to get back.  I wanted it to be in my own time, and forgot that it will be in God's time.

A few Sundays back, I was at church and I felt like the pastor was speaking just to me.  He said something like, "If things aren't working how you want them to, you should consider that God doesn't want it to happen now.  Maybe, there are still lessons that you need to learn in order for you to be successful at what you are supposed to be doing."

Oh....

I wanted to be back in Uganda a long time ago and even now that I am going only for a short time, I just realized there were still lessons to be learned.  I have learned so much in these 4 months home, especially the last month.  Had I left for Uganda when I wanted, I probably wouldn't have learned these things.

I know that God wants these kids off the street and that He wants me in Uganda.  I just needed to wait on Him.  I am happy that I am going back, even if it is just for a short time, and I am confident that if He brings me back to the US at the end of the trip, it is because there is something else that I need to learn.  I am now waiting patiently for the day when He says I can be back in Uganda for good!

If you haven't checked out the fundraising campaign on Indie GoGo, please do so, give whatever you can (no amount is too small to make a difference), and share it with everyone you know. 

Thanks for everyone's continued support!!!